Name: Crossing Over
Released: 2016-11-29
Cast: H. Jon Benjamin, Judy Greer, Amber Nash

1) ocelot

Oh, my God, totally, but it has to be your place because mine reeks of ocelot piss.
2) tater

Okay, I gotta bounce. Later, tater!
3) goof

This is just a goof. Later, tater.
4) tracksuit

Maybe the tracksuit?
5) absinthe

Green Russians. It's absinthe and milk.
6) microchip

Cross the microchip in my heart.
7) telex

...but the telex from the Siberia desk says Jakov never showed up.
8) waffle

Who wants chicken and waffle?
9) poop

Even when you're chopping through the ice in the toilet so you can poop?
10) morale

Is bad for morale.
11) sleeper

Contact our sleeper in New York and then cancel all my meetings this week...
12) valet

Plus, my valet will give you some heroin.
13) stall

Having said that, would you please come in this dirty toilet stall and have sex with me?
14) vodka

Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails.
15) bro

Oh, God! Come at me, bro!
16) archer

ARCHER: Ugh. Oh, God. Ugh.
17) pitcher

No, forget the glass, Woodhouse, just give me the pitcher.
18) beard

...and some guy with a beard. Jesus Christ!

1) mope

Well, Barry can't have you moping around here, you know...
2) reassign

Wait, don't answer yet, because I'm also reassign you to Siberia.
3) apologize

...thanks to Cyril. Who has apologize profusely...
4) swear

I swear to God, if he put as much effort into his job...
5) erase

I... Ew. Burt made sure I erase the security tape.
6) pretend

Just pretend he's like a rabid dog.
7) mob

Well, if we go out, you know, he's just mob, so...
8) bless

Bloody Mary, full of vodka, bless are you among cocktails.
9) freeze

This, glad you asked, is a block of ice with a fork frozen in it.
10) bind

I'm bound up tighter than dick's hatband.
11) survive

Sterling, if by some miracle, this video tape survive the explosion...
12) shut

Sometimes? Oh, shut up.
13) suppose

He was suppose to prep this dump. And didn't.
14) promise

I promise myself I don't cry.
15) push

What? Come on, you were push rope!
16) assume

So when you say you assume Jakov got on that train to Siberia...
17) forget

Me, who happens to be in a relationship with Burt Reynolds, in case you've forgotten?
18) grow

You know I grew up on a farm, right?

1) insanely

Insanely. Wanna get out of here?
2) thankfully

Thankfully, I didn't have to share.
3) afterward

And afterward, if Sterling want, he can still get some DNA from my body...
4) incredibly

ARCHER [OVER PHONE]: Mainly because I have an incredibly addictive personality.
5) literally

Pam, look at me. I will literally murder you.
6) regardless

Marmaduke. And regardless of any personal ties...
7) personally

...that I personally have ever had.
8) somewhat

It's somewhat coming back to me.
9) obviously

Besides the stuff about Jakov, which obviously is what you meant, so...
10) eventually

Which hopefully, over time, will eventually drive Archer insane.
11) possibly

And also possibly Archer's father.
12) nearly

...but you're not nearly as stupid as you look. Okay.
13) exactly

The time is exactly 7:16, and I wish they were...
14) perhaps

Uh, perhaps a coddled egg?
15) sometimes

Sometimes? Oh, shut up.
16) finally

...but you finally topped your 10th grade sports banquet.
17) otherwise

Since otherwise he'd kill you?
18) instead

And it's all my fault because instead of doing my job, I was here...

1) trifling

Trifling bitches.
2) snide

My problem, besides your snide remarks, is Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB.
3) flattered

Lana, listen, if this is a booty call, I'm flattered, but...
4) rabid

Just pretend he's like a rabid dog.
5) bloated

Get your bloated carcass... Out! I got it, I'm on this, I got it!
6) dreaded

Oh, I guess when I was in the dreaded Lubyanka...
7) brute

Et tu, Brute?
8) sober

Then go home, sober up, and make sure your apartment is secure.
9) ashamed

You don't think Burt's ashamed to be seen with me?
10) awkward

...um, awkward? I actually think it's kind of sweet.
11) addictive

ARCHER [OVER PHONE]: Mainly because I have an incredibly addictive personality.
12) invaluable

...I may have with Nikolai, he's an invaluable asset and we have to protect him.
13) amazed

...and you dicks turning me into a cyborg, I'm kind of amazed I'm even this sane.
14) fond

Am not very fond of you. I mean, we have such history together, and...
15) insane

Which hopefully, over time, will eventually drive Archer insane.
16) awful

I think you mean "awful."
17) fuzzy

I remember. I mean, Green Russians, it's fuzzy. I don't remember this.
18) dumb

Watch it, you dumb idiot!

Archer » Season 3 » Crossing Over