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00:20:23
H. Jon Benjamin, Judy Greer, Amber Nash
31
...comes home for his borscht, only to find an unexpected dinner guest.
You know how bad that is for eardrum? What?
Think it's because I'm in loafer? They're not mine.
Super bad. Have you seen a neurologist?
You remember that he shattered my femur, right?
Oh. But he's such a douche bag. I know, dear. But he's also my son.
Nice extinguisher. Thank you, comrade.
Really rethinking that tetanus booster right about now.
Piece of... How are you a superpower?
Get a welder to cut the top off that and, bing, new umbrella stand, huh?
Probably hanging by his Achilles tendon in some KGB hellhole.
Get your bloated carcass in here.
...of DNA test to establishing paternity? I thought they just wanted my hair...
Hallway? Where you wanna knock this out?
He's really got a temper.
Uh, radio chatter about an American agent the KGB caught parachuting into Russia?
Oh, that is bullshit. Really?
Oh, and also, hopefully, shitloads of vodka. Woo-hoo!
And I'm sure that must be... Oh, and he sodomize my fiancée.
JAKOV: You backstab, two-timing harlot.
I thought I'd shoot you in the face, smuggle you out in a coffin.
**** you, you douche bags.
You remember that he shatter my femur, right?
Oh, yeah. After I beg you not to.
I swear, I'm just a Finnish skydiving enthusiast who...
Then I put whip cream all over everything.
Eh. Plus, smell that.
Now shut up while I go confront my putative father.
Ask your mom! What's that suppose to mean?
Sterling's probably being torture as we speak.
You shoot like old women.
After a lifetime of your secrets and lie, we will finally have the truth!
...with 2-to-1 odds he ends up brutally murder, so yes...
Here we go. Ever since you threw me off a balcony.
You know what I bet happened is all the shocks damaged my frontal lobe.
Hey, thanks, guys. Just tell my mother I pull a gun on you, all right?
Well, gee, Barry, what's French for "deliciously depraved"?
...with 2-to-1 odds he ends up brutally murdered, so yes...
Has anyone ever told you you are profoundly self-centered?
How would you phrase the fact that you crippled me physically and emotionally?
Ugh, wherever. After you bring back Archer.
If he is not my biologic son, I will put, personally, a bullet in his brain.
Well, it's obviously not, and what?
Which is apparently a soldier factory.
MALORY: Huh? B, sometimes I work late...
After a lifetime of your secrets and lies, we will finally have the truth!
It's super bad for you.
Actually, I don't know what I was implying. I just said it.
I'm sure they're treating him just fine.
You're still together?
GILLETTE: Not once, not ever, has he volunteered for a dangerous mission.
Well, at least I have a father, Barry.
GILLETTE: Not once, not ever, has he volunteered for a dangerous mission.
Always hide in plain sight. Unless you've got a better idea.
That's a broken zygomatic bone. Plus, I was unconscious for an hour.
...so their scientists could unlock the secret of its luxuriant fullness.
Well, gee, Barry, what's French for "deliciously depraved"?
Y'all know me, I'm no gossip, but that is some scandalous-ass shit right there.
Get your bloated carcass in here.
Uh, how about something a little less sarcastic?
Do you know your son is here in the cells of the dreaded Lubyanka?
Yeah, to the silk-lined sleeve of a bespoke Savile Row suit jacket.
Well, that someone needs to be fluent in Russian...
You know what I bet happened is all the shocks damaged my frontal lobe.
And, uh, by the way, try not to be unconscious too long.
Under very suspicious circumstances.
Now shut up while I go confront my putative father.
Hey, it's a versatile shoe. Works with a turtleneck, obviously, but...
...comes home for his borscht, only to find an unexpected dinner guest.
And now, all of a sudden, he's like, "Let me go"?
Okay, I got my fake documents, plenty of cash, so the crossing should be a breeze.
...and C, there's this new thing the kids are doing called shutting the damn door.