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00:21:15
H. Jon Benjamin, Judy Greer, Amber Nash
34
Well, I didn't invent the ravages of time.
I'm going into stasis. Wake me up when we're on the ground.
He what? While shouting "whoo!"
[GUNSHOT THEN CHERYL SCREAMS]
It's an allegorical novella about Stalinism by George Orwell!
Thanks to you and your fire extinguisher. Right?
Heh, heh. He said "meow."
COMPUTER [OVER PA]: Docking coupler disengaging.
Using me as your brood sow?
Using me as your brood sow?
What's more insane? Suffering through famine, war, disease on a dying Earth...
Well, we're calling them "involuntary laborer."
...or creating a utopia on Mars?
And spoiler alert, it sucks!
Maybe we can, I don't know, stampede a flock of goats down the hall.
Are the cuff really necessary?
ARCHER: Yes. LANA: No!
If you're done being an asshole, help me strip this guy so I can...
[GUNSHOT THEN CHERYL SCREAMS]
Which remind me.
Earth is doom.
Yeah, I think that totally works. Stole them from the gift shop.
Okay, then it's settle.
So I deserve to land the goddamn spaceship!
Let's get shanghai to go live on fricking Mars!"
Uh, hang on, sorry, one sec.
Archer! Quit screwing around with the robot and shut the damn airlock already!
What the hell am I suppose to wear? Uh... Oh, maybe this will work.
CYRIL: Yeah, both head and ass. PAM: Pounds you like meat.
You realize this is kidnapping. I do, yes.
You murder a banker?
He was really good in the simulator. Right up until he crash it.
Nothing, just bet you're glad we're in reduced gravity.
Heh, Katya, pumpkin, I promise I'd stop trying to kill Archer.
We've been lock in here ever since you idiots took over Horizon.
And spoiler alert, it suck!
No, not... Well, okay, yes, technically.
...which is apparently some alloy of adamantium and mithril.
Mars forever!
You absolutely may not.
I'm almost certainly blind.
Otherwise, I think that all went pretty great.
I'm almost certainly blind.
Even so, black astronaut, that's pretty huge. It actually is.
Lana, the penis-to-your-vagina ratio around here is creepy enough already...
Why is nobody else wearing a T-shirt under their suit?
Lana, uh, pretend it's five years ago.
Moving. Yes, and how can I help you not ever do that again, please?
Can we at least have beers?
Stop this at once. We command you.
They're right where they've always been.
Oh, Krieger-san! I never judge you!
Moving. Yes, and how can I help you not ever do that again, please?
Let's get shanghaied to go live on fricking Mars!"
Mr. Archer, do I have to sedate you? Well, I wouldn't say no to a drink.
Oh, now he's indignant.
Jesus God, are you that insecure?
You think a bank wants to own a failing dairy farm with obsolete milkers?
And do you realize you're insane? He wouldn't, by definition...
Well, I think a more apt analogy would be Moses, but...
And I hate this word, Barry, but this is gonna be epic!
I mean, if you're having a legitimate problem with your vagina...
Archer! Quit screwing around with the robot and shut the damn airlock already!
MAN [SINGING]: Gone to outer space
And the black guy is okay with this?
...and I am the only man alive who can lead us there.
I'm almost certainly blind.
But I'm still very proud of you.
We need you in peak physical condition for this great undertaking of ours.
Because this thing feels amazing.
Oh, please, you're not fit to be queen of...
Only if by "Martian" you mean "born on Mars," not actual alien life forms.