Name: Bad Santa
Released: 2018-12-18
Duration: 1 h 39 min
Cast: Lauren Graham, Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac

Words to remember

Nouns

1) schmo

Does this schmo even play guitar?
2) loofah

Fuck the loofah, let's go.
3) baloney

If you fry baloney, it tastes like a hot dog.
4) louse

You sit there and play like dead lice are falling off you,
5) toenail

Ow! Watch the toenail, kid! Shit. Next.
6) maggot

You are, by far, the dumbest, most pathetic piece of maggot-eating shit
7) embezzlement

You doing three to six for embezzlement?
8) bub

I say, "bub" or "chief," whatever.
9) fixe

Prix fixe?
10) baller

I need a melon baller and a loofah.
11) snot

Blowing snot all over everybody and fucking whatever.
12) motherfucker

motherfucker all over the sidewalk.
13) rotisserie

not one, but two delicious rotisserie chickens,
14) bough

* Upon the highest bough
15) pervert

What do you think, I'm some kind of pervert?
16) retard

Look, it's the retard again.
17) prune

that him and his prune-faced mail-order wife
18) picket

Little picket signs, chanting and raving, using little bullhorns
19) paramedic

When the paramedic come to bag Santa up
20) brat

with a bunch of screaming brat
21) racket

your own racket. You know why, Willie?
22) forklift

So unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand.
23) sleigh

* In a one horse open sleigh
24) waitress

Maybe marry a waitress.
25) booze

Just don't come in to work stinking of booze again.
26) reindeer

Where are the reindeer?
27) fucker

My brother lost a goddamn arm fighting you fucker in Vietnam.
28) impeachment

I was against the Clinton impeachment.

Verbs

1) fornicate

but as far as I can recall, I've never fornicate anybody.
2) rend

I just rent the fucking place, anyway.
3) draught

I was once draught by Lyndon Johnson
4) choke

I don't care if it choke you to death.
5) spit

'Cause I let 2,000 kids spit in my fucking face for your ass, that's why.
6) stall

I'm sorry, but the van stall.
7) organise

I'm organising all the decorations
8) ditch

He don't even have an imaginary friend, unless he ditch him.
9) asshole

I'm 3 foot fucking tall, you asshole!
10) scare

You scare the holy shit out of me.
11) pant

And pull your damn pant up!
12) misplace

In case you misplace it, my phone number is...
13) peel

Every day you peel open a new box, you get part of the story,
14) curse

He curse. Yeah?
15) prop

Are you telling me that after I prop you up,
16) scream

someone who has scream orgasms with large women shouldn't...
17) sweat

I'm a dancer. I sweat.
18) tear

You tear your ball again?
19) accomplish

Like I accomplish something.
20) smell

You smell like a bum's nut sack.
21) punch

I've had my eye socket punch in, a kidney taken out,
22) mess

It looks like someone mess with my Advent calendar.
23) dig

WILLIE: I dig that little thing in your bellybutton.
24) nose

and some guy's in there nosing around in my room.
25) suppose

I think you're suppose to call them...
26) kick

No. He kick my ass. You know why?
27) smile

held you together, smile for all those kids,
28) appreciate

MARCUS: I appreciate it.

Adverbs

1) darn

Yeah. Pretty darn impressive.
2) freshly

ANNOUNCER ON TV:... or freshly-caught whole trout,
3) meanwhile

Meanwhile, I told the cops you had no one to take the fuck care of you.
4) loud

Loud, scream, be loud, be mean!
5) somehow

* We'll have to muddle through somehow
6) okay

Kid, you okay up there?
7) apart

You'd fall apart without me.
8) twice

I've been married twice.
9) exactly

Exactly. I figure I got enough to go to Miami.
10) alone

Leave Santa alone!
11) perhaps

and you are in a position of trust, I think perhaps
12) fucking

I'm trying to fucking leave here.
13) deep

It's like some deep-seated childhood thing.
14) behind

You're behind there, sweetie.
15) quite

It's not quite 8:00 yet.
16) almost

All three of you are in so much shit, it's almost unbelievable.
17) outside

* Oh, the weather outside is so frightful
18) kind

She does look kind of still, doesn't she?
19) inside

and then there's a chocolate inside.
20) soon

Santa will be here real soon.
21) along

Move it along.
22) enough

It took you long enough.
23) later

Okay, fine. See you later.
24) though

He did teach me how to crack a safe, though.
25) far

but as far as I can recall, I've never fornicated anybody.
26) fast

You're gonna put that Santa hat on so fast
27) together

Can you maybe keep it together for just 10 minutes?
28) else

Yeah. Are they gonna drop you on somebody else's head?

Adjectives

1) scrumptious

a scrumptious six-and-a-half pound standing rib roast,
2) frightful

* Oh, the weather outside is so frightful
3) pinched

That kind of shit's gonna get us pinched!
4) unarmed

that the Phoenix Police Department shooting an unarmed Santa
5) squat

because, pal of mine, you don't know squat!
6) ragged

They run you ragged.
7) sober

but being sober can put you at
8) pathetic

You're pathetic.
9) obsessed

Why are you so obsessed with that
10) imaginary

He don't even have an imaginary friend, unless he ditched him.
11) unbelievable

All three of you are in so much shit, it's almost unbelievable.
12) bastard

Fuck you! You little bastard!
13) queer

You're as queer as a $10 bill.
14) sore

Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?
15) delightful

* But the fire is so delightful
16) insane

Are you insane?
17) unfair

"Unfair practices. " You get me?
18) stuffed

I was thinking I wanted a purple stuffed elephant, not pink.
19) awful

Pants are awful baggy.
20) dumb

You are, by far, the dumb, most pathetic piece of maggot-eating shit
21) forbidden

so it was like this forbidden thing.
22) merry

Thanks. Merry Christmas.
23) delicious

ANNOUNCER ON TV: You can make a delicious six-pound chicken,
24) steady

All right, hold it steady.
25) loud

Loud, scream, be loud, be mean!
26) impressive

Pretty impressive.
27) broke

You blow this and we're broke for the whole year.
28) drunk

Yeah. He's back there, drunk.

Menu

Watch online "Bad Santa" (2003) in Full HD quality

Bad Santa

Plot summary

Words to remember

Nouns

Verbs

Adverbs

Adjectives

Money Shot: The Pornhub Story

Air

Blackberry

Menu

We are on social media

Watch online "Bad Santa" (2003) in Full HD quality

Bad Santa

Plot summary

Words to remember

Nouns

Verbs

Adverbs

Adjectives

Money Shot: The Pornhub Story

Air

Blackberry