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When two friends realize all "faith based" films make buckets of cash, they set out on a mission to make one of their own.
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I need it to look like not one kid has ever taken the tugboat
...sometimes, only the weirdo show up.
Who's playing pool, motherfucker?
That mustache looks like a rat got stuck on a glue trap.
Teammates have to communicate in order to work. There's no lying in team.
♪ And pieces of the shroud You did wear ♪
♪ Yeah, clouds and golden walkway ♪
♪ And nails And remnant of hair ♪
This is a farming drama called Jesus Plows.
[Tanner] Evidently, preachers and bartender have a lot more in common than you may think.
Who do you work for, fucker?
I'm at the right abode all right ,funny guy.
What do you say we make it a cul-de-sac?
What kind of sucker would invest in an imaginary dream
Now, you being a fine tea salesman,
And now, without further ado,
Make sure you get at the micro fungus. It hides in the cracks.
for our Lord and savior's body.
[Tanner] Evidently, preacher and bartenders have a lot more in common than you may think.
My clients' houses are not a backdrop for your pyramid scheme.
aroma of rye and spice and even some grassy notes.
a carton of Nicky Steele cigarettes,
When you look back and you see only one set of footprint,
- You set up these audition? - Look, you said kids were honest.
Five hundred bucks buys them a bottle of Nicky Steele vodka,
You want to take a real little peek into the Nicky Steele crystal ball?
But to reach the flock, he needs a master.
I don't want to call it a dive because it's nicer than a dive, it's a lounge,
Half of them babysat me.
There's a part of me that feels like I am destine for bigger things.
I think we overdid it with the green screen suits.
I, uh, I guess I... I misread something.
Oh, it's completely revolutionize the church.
How dost thou leave thine craft mindfully towards the heavens.
But what if she reconnect with her mom right before the space mons...
Uh, Elevate Church, thank you so much for coming.
shred for Solomon, absolutely abdominal for Abraham.
his heart's in the right place but his head it's cram way up his ass.
He had his fucking hair perm and all that shit.
and then chunk it into the neighbor's yard
Oh, don't be scare, it's just me Herman.
Somebody who specialize in explosives in Iraq War Part 1.
So, when the people disappear, so does the money.
♪ I'd be crush for sure ♪
being chased by aliens and crazy creatures shout out to her creator...
And if I recruit someone else, I get a dollar twenty-five from their sales.
Leap up and use the lower gravitational pull to fly yourself toward me.
And whose face burst through the clouds to save her?
[both] Blessed to be here.
but before it hit the ground, somebody grab it
Would you mind if I pray over us real quick?
being chase by aliens and crazy creatures shouts out to her creator...
["I Hung a Cross" by Lambsong playing]
I'm adopt, which I'm thankful for
but usually his ideas involve getting other people to help him sell, uh, teas,
Dude, you're suppose to get the missiles by the silo.
There's two offering buckets upfront, if you're feeling generous.
[Tanner] Evidently, preachers and bartenders have a lot more in common than you may think.
Now, we still desperately need to fix that roof.
Churches, literally, buy out entire theaters, rent buses,
and I have heard you loud and clear.
that might somehow benefit them in the end?
He said, no, you know, essentially, it's about religion
...the spaceship lands perfectly on Mars.
[Luke] Aside from Tanner and, of course, Mr. Perfect,
[sighs] Besides, I could use a break.
Because, basically, it's sunny in Guatemala 270 days a year.
Your dad's gonna buy anything that has Jesus in it somewhere.
[scoffs] Now, obviously, all of us have eternal security
Apparently, before Luke came along, our family was pretty well off.
Yeah, that's definitely a weight dropping. Dude, are you doing CrossFit?
Proud of you, buddy.
And then, eventually, we're going to need another 100 to fix that roof
You get money from him twice.
shredded for Solomon, absolutely abdominal for Abraham.
I truly think God put you in my life for a reason.
- When it's separate? - Yes, exactly.
[woman 3] Always remember, if you're ever feeling alone or end up actually alone on Mars,
My life is good. I have a job sometimes.
It's fucking exhausting. I had two jobs today. My back is killing me.
Hey, Mom, we're finally here.
they became utter fools, instead.
Now, we all have our differences, especially you and I, Hoyt,
She's super nice. She's also a porn star.
the prodigal son that's come down from heaven to fix all the problems.
oh, and wonderfully devout young man from Growing Pains.
Yeah, like a... like a really intelligent poignant comedy.
♪ He's a homeless David Bowie With stale popcorn ♪
and they're also very lucrative.
Yeah, so, uh, after making the movie, Herman got sober.
There's nothing more embarrassing than a grown man pushing a scooter.
Oh, Luke, I am ashamed. How could you, son.
I'm adopted, which I'm thankful for
I need some dire straits.
"The result was that their foolish minds became dark and confused.
are you really diversified?
to brown town in the shallow end.
Hey, where's your little blond bitch?
Number three, eat sugary savage cereal every day.
But, like if this were Dumb and Dumber,
Sound design. Sound design has to be epic.
[man 2] I've a very, very small room but my cross is still enormous.
Hey, jungle monster, I don't think you have a balanced diet.
I'm telling you, everyone would be really excited about it.
That's right, I sell tea, herbal weight loss tea. But it really works.
Can you name another wrestler slash actor slash independent presidential candidate?
they can't get drunk, they can't see tits,