Name: Farewell Letter
Released: 2017-12-18
Cast: Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Marcia Cross

1) shenanigan

Look, if they pull any shenanigan,
2) orthodontia

It's the land orthodontia forgot.
3) omelet

How do you make an omelet?
4) chipmunk

And saved a chipmunk's life in the same move.
5) stepfather

When I was a child, my stepfather molested me.
6) perk

I mean, it's the only perk to come out of this whole thing.
7) nacho

You know, we even have a nacho platter named after you.
8) puke

Tell that to the puke on my shoes.
9) pari

I've been everywhere-- pari, rome, new york...
10) keg

We met them at a keg party,
11) frown

They cause serious frown lines.
12) fiasco

We don't want a repeat of last night's pork fiasco. (laughter)
13) frat

This isn't a frat house. This is our family home,
14) chauffeur

Uh, could you have your, uh, chauffeur over here
15) scramble

Actually, um, could you make mine an egg white scramble?
16) hamper

In the hamper and getting clean ones out of the drawer. That's how dad does it.
17) sweetie

Sorry, sweetie, we have to get back to the hotel
18) beep

Let me just get one shot. (camera shutter beep and clicks)
19) guesthouse

I will build a guesthouse,
20) morale

I had no idea. You know, it would do so much for school morale
21) liar

You told me I was a liar
22) autograph

(camera shutter beeps and clicks) can I get your autograph?
23) swimsuit

I even have one of your swimsuit covers on my bathroom wall.

1) molest

When I was a child, my stepfather molest me.
2) evict

What? We just got evict, and we're really hung over.
3) betray

When someone so close betray you,
4) stab

You guys are acting like we stab you last night. Oh, obviously you didn't do that.
5) beg

Yeah. The one time I'm beg for an 8-hour delay,
6) swear

And then we're gonna talk, or I swear
7) whip

Then, when you throw the ball, you whip your hand down, right?
8) disappear

I-i can't make these people disappear. You promised.
9) slam

Oh. Um, it's just... We're so slam.
10) spill

And then the coffee spill, and now...
11) borrow

I borrow it.
12) slice

With slice tomatoes.
13) bother

If the gun bother you...
14) excuse

Jury duty--excuse. And that was over the phone.
15) deserve

Oh, you know what? I deserve it.
16) shake

Some people shake hands...
17) refuse

Then there are those who refuse to leave
18) blame

Not that I blame you.
19) harm

To some extraordinary lengths to cause you harm.
20) hang

What? We just got evicted, and we're really hung over.
21) shut

And I'm like, "you shut up,"
22) suppose

What's that suppose to mean?
23) spin

Gets the--gets it spin faster.

1) unbelievably

What you did was unbelievably selfish.
2) desperately

You desperately wanted and now you have. Bree, come on.
3) nowhere

Especially for those who have nowhere else to go.
4) aside

Yeah. Aside from them yelling out the answers
5) obviously

You guys are acting like we stabbed you last night. Oh, obviously you didn't do that.
6) unfortunately

Unfortunately, we lost a week while you decided
7) forever

Mom, this is taking forever.
8) absolutely

(sighs) if you absolutely don't want to do this,
9) previously

Previously on...
10) exactly

That's exactly what my old man used to say to me.
11) finally

Finally! We were wondering
12) especially

Especially for those who have nowhere else to go.
13) almost

We're almost there, zach.
14) actually

Actually, um, could you make mine an egg white scramble?
15) kind

Actually, we're kind of busy. (chuckles)
16) soon

If we don't do something soon,
17) enough

Yeah, we're grown men, old enough to vote.
18) far

But so far, they've been the perfect tenants.
19) together

Start to build our life together.
20) else

Until someone else says...
21) ago

Three days ago, I didn't even know that this kid existed,
22) ever

If you were ever gonna make it back home again. (laughs)
23) sure

You sure you wanna eat here?

1) indistinct

(cash register beeping, indistinct conversations)
2) bloated

Yeah. And it explains why I look a lot more bloated
3) helpless

You are just so helpless.
4) restless

I have restless leg syndrome.
5) ashamed

And that I should be ashamed of myself,
6) rheumatoid

Well, I'm a diabetic, and my wife has rheumatoid arthritis.
7) relieved

Oh, you must be so relieved.
8) thrilled

You didn't seem too thrilled to see her.
9) vague

Too vague?
10) defective

Well, my defective little kidney and I thank you both.
11) upset

I don't understand. Are you upset with me?
12) flush

Listening to people flush.
13) distant

You've been so cold and distant.
14) gentle

Others offer a gentle wave.
15) grave

I don't wanna fly to texas to stand on some dead guy's grave
16) rid

We can get rid of it.
17) stunning

Bree made a stunning revelation.
18) impressive

Pretty impressive.
19) surprised

I'm not surprised.
20) rough

Dialysis? Man, that must be rough.
21) sad

I mean, they didn't even get to see my sad head tilt
22) romantic

I'm not proud of what I did, but I didn't want to lose you. Don't make it sound romantic.
23) weak

And if I'm late, I start to get a little weak.

Desperate Housewives » Season 7 » Farewell Letter