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Scream Queens » Season 1 » Pilot

00:46:18

Emma Roberts, Lea Michele, Abigail Breslin

3301

Words to remember

Nouns

1) backstabber

And, historically, short people are sneaky backstabber,
2) klatch

What do you say to a little coffee klatch?
3) latt

I like my pumpkin spice latt extra hot,
4) footstep

it'll be like I'm following in her footstep.
5) dugong

When you stupid dugong
6) dregs

Look at them. They're the dregs of society.
7) ringworm

and I'm pretty sure I saw an actual ringworm
8) boner

I got my first boner watching Faces of Death.
9) weirdo

If Kappa's suddenly filled with weirdo and fatties,
10) fatwa

your fatwa against me, Dean Box Munch,
11) minion

and her minion out of there to do it.
12) negativity

on negativity and raw ambition?
13) wart

genital wart or... chlamydia or something?
14) puke

Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.
15) bulimia

That obese specimen of human filth scrubbing bulimia vomit
16) wanderer

"Hail, Odin, wise warrior, one-eyed wanderer,
17) underside

Think of the underside of all of the toilets
18) vomit

That obese specimen of human filth scrubbing bulimia vomit
19) laude

I graduated summa cum laude
20) mitzvah

during bat mitzvah season.
21) veneer

once you pull back the veneer.
22) bathtub

of 20 years and dropped a transistor radio in her bathtub
23) poop

And she thinks that means her poop smells like ginger beer.

Verbs

1) hallucinate

Is that killer noises or am I hallucinating?
2) terrify

Girl, I was terrified I was gonna get some religious freak
3) obsess

obsess with me last year.
4) mutate

mutate it into the monster it is today.
5) puke

Someone puke in the sink,
6) disrespect

when they disrespect you. Follow me!
7) shove

how you shove Ms. Bean in that fryolator.
8) prosecute

Now I won't be prosecute for murder
9) drown

How about I just drown you in it?
10) annoy

Those white girl pumpkin spice lattes annoy me.
11) stab

hid the body, then it came back to life and stab
12) waltz

first waltz through that door,
13) haze

because you're about to get haze
14) sneak

Yes. I snuck into the home of my 80-year-old colleague
15) scare

but that bathroom scare the crap out of me.
16) enroll

If you're enroll
17) burst

I am burst like a piece of Freshen-Up.
18) transmit

Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmit disease,"
19) remind

But you also remind me of a young me.
20) pledge

turn the castoff pledge away,
21) steal

and pairs of my stolen panties.
22) propose

Well, I propose a change of plans.
23) settle

settle with Melanie out of court.

Adverbs

1) smack

A lot of people talk smack about how sororities
2) secretly

secretly feed you info.
3) intentionally

Look, you intentionally led me on.
4) accidentally

accidentally killed her, but now I'm not so sure.
5) someday

And if you are serious about becoming president someday,
6) sexually

Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmitted disease,"
7) literally

there is literally no way you can be popular.
8) essentially

because she's essentially a house slave.
9) solely

that you've created an atmosphere based solely
10) basically

strutting around in basically just their underwear,
11) overnight

You gals are gonna stay here overnight,
12) obviously

Obviously, I'm as upset
13) forever

that kept part of my psyche forever trapped in the '90s.
14) truly

but that house is truly dangerous.
15) exactly

Second, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
16) alone

I found her sitting alone in the library
17) deep

and that deep down, every woman knows this.
18) extra

I like my pumpkin spice lattes extra hot,
19) almost

Oh, Ms. Chanel, I almost forgot.
20) super

This is super embarrassing.
21) actually

I could actually handle
22) kind

And I know you think sororities are some kind of,
23) enough

It's good enough for me, and the D.A.,

Adjectives

1) autumnal

my favorite autumnal tradition to 210 degrees?
2) hydrochloric

who filled that tank with hydrochloric acid.
3) norse

"Norse father,
4) poignant

- and poignant. - Thank you.
5) negligent

at this school was so negligent that it bordered on criminal.
6) sentimental

What? I am sentimental.
7) heterosexual

Look, I'm not saying that all heterosexual sex is rape.
8) rampant

And Kappa is the source of rampant reports of alcoholism,
9) irresistible

delaying the moment at which they receive the irresistible,
10) disgusting

Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues.
11) depressing

could get more depressing. Please leave.
12) dope

or a cutter for a roommate, but you're dope.
13) obese

That obese specimen of human filth scrubbing bulimia vomit
14) embarrassing

This is super embarrassing.
15) pathetic

You're pathetic.
16) miserable

You put on a good front, but you're miserable.
17) genital

genital warts or... chlamydia or something?
18) vicious

- Dad, we already talked about this. - Look, girls are vicious, okay?
19) traumatic

My therapist says I had a traumatic experience
20) investigative

as an investigative reporter.
21) suspicious

Well, that sure sounds suspicious.
22) rad

It's gonna be a totally rad one this year.
23) lame

You are so lame, you know that?

Next episode

Hell Week

25 January 2019

588