Name: The Entire History of You
Released: 2018-02-08
Cast: Daniel Lapaine, Hannah John-Kamen, Michaela Coel

1) chillum

'I'm imagining a chillum and a big knob.'
2) arsehole

And when he protected me from those arsehole,
3) dormouse

'No, it was like dormouse.'
4) nightcap

'But why don't you come back to ours, for a nightcap if you want?'
5) swastika

It's probably the start of the swastika, they were such pricks!
6) anaesthetic

'In-store ingrain procedure with local anaesthetic
7) wank

He fucks you, gets footage for his redo wank file,
8) redo

what we'd have you do is pull an exhaustive redo
9) scar

There's a scar on here.
10) cashmere

off all over his cashmere blanket.
11) filth

for a little bit of filth now and then, surely?
12) millionaire

probably to some millionaire Chinese perve.
13) skeleton

We've all got our skeleton, how about you and Gemma?
14) knob

He's a bit of a knob, ain't he?
15) goodness

For goodness' sake, you need to grow a sense of humour.
16) deletion

There's no major deletion this quarter?
17) offence

I mean, no offence!
18) blanket

off all over his cashmere blanket.
19) fridge

I don't know, a redo of the side of his fridge.
20) tooth

It's like I've had a bad tooth for years and I'm just finally
21) dude

"it's really not cool to redo another man's appraisals, dude."
22) sake

For goodness' sake, you need to grow a sense of humour.
23) junk

You know half the organic memories you have a junk,

1) gouge

No, no, I was gouge about 12 months ago.
2) fudge

I downplayed it. I fudge it, it was...
3) toss

He probably sits there and toss himself
4) realise

and I suddenly realise that the less the relationship means
5) bother

getting bother by paedophile babysitters they never had.
6) steal

Stolen to order, as far as they could tell,
7) dig

getting my tongue in there and I'm dig out all the rotten shit.
8) scroll

I mean, we all scroll through the Grain
9) fancy

I just think we just really fancied each other and that was what it was.
10) laugh

You were laugh at everything he said.
11) suspect

You know when you suspect something,
12) engage

'physical condition for the activity you appear to be engage in.
13) sue

Bobby sue Mum and Dad for insufficient attention
14) arrive

and then I arrive and... you clam.
15) involve

I don't really want to get involve.
16) suppose

Bloody hell, I thought you were suppose to be cool, man.
17) invite

so if we invite you to stay with the firm in the new environment,
18) lie

You lie.
19) imagine

'I'm imagining a chillum and a big knob.'
20) mention

I've mention this to everyone about their appraisals,
21) catch

Yeah, I didn't stay over and I caught an early flight back, so...
22) lose

You can make people remember getting lost
23) forget

and I guess we forgot, but now we've remembered, so...

1) ethically

Right, and we're OK, the firm's OK with that, ethically?
2) objectively

That is just objectively not funny.
3) morally

And morally?
4) sometime

Well, they said they'd let me do a redo sometime next week, so...
5) ultimately

You pay loads to go and ultimately you are wasting your entire night,
6) obviously

I mean Liam's obviously uncomfortable,
7) sometimes

No, no, no, that's brilliant, sometimes you're a bitch.
8) fucking

that just fit together really fucking well.
9) finally

It's like I've had a bad tooth for years and I'm just finally
10) forward

Look, really hope to... look forward to seeing you again.
11) quite

I work in recruitment, so it might be quite useful for you.
12) round

This did Jonas come round to read you a story?
13) super

I thought Mr Marrakech was some sort of super cool...
14) actually

You actually start obsessing over the tiniest little details,
15) kind

and then just kind of, liked it.
16) inside

But we've got the babysitter inside, so...
17) soon

A soon-to-be unemployed/unemployable lawyer.
18) enough

Yeah! I brought enough for others to share.
19) later

See you later, Fi.
20) sort

'with this, sort of...
21) though

Would you say you loved her, though?
22) far

Stolen to order, as far as they could tell,
23) together

you know, "We love being together and never fucking anyone else"

1) ingrain

'In-store ingrain procedure with local anaesthetic
2) unemployable

A soon-to-be unemployed/unemployable lawyer.
3) uptight

- He's uptight, isn't he? - OK, Liam.
4) pretentious

I never liked it. Thought it was pretentious shit.
5) admirable

I mean, three days, that's admirable, but four days?
6) depressing

Stuff from last night, depressing and fun.
7) embarrassed

Are you embarrassed by that?
8) exhaustive

what we'd have you do is pull an exhaustive redo
9) sober

Sober up. Make yourself puke.
10) embarrassing

Cos it's embarrassing.
11) retrospective

is litigation in retrospective parenting cases.
12) uncomfortable

I mean Liam's obviously uncomfortable,
13) unemployed

A soon-to-be unemployed/unemployable lawyer.
14) insufficient

Bobby sues Mum and Dad for insufficient attention
15) rotten

getting my tongue in there and I'm digging out all the rotten shit.
16) brave

It's a brave choice.
17) upset

I was so upset.
18) keen

Now, ignore the joke. Who's more keen for him to come back?
19) rid

If you really don't want to come, you can get rid of him.
20) nervous

'I was nervous when I heard you were going to be here.
21) brilliant

Brilliant. Brilliant.
22) drunk

- Spot the difference. - You're drunk.
23) weird

'It was a weird week.'

Black Mirror » Season 1 » The Entire History of You