New here? Create a new Account
Move to the previous cue
Move to the next cue
Increase size of captions
Decrease size of captions
Translate current cue
01:03:48
Jeremy Clarkson, James May, Richard Hammond, Mike Skinner
43
The presenters begin by having a year-ending awards ceremony in Conversation Street. Hammond heads to the Eboladrome to test the McLaren 720S after which Eaton sets a lap time. Since The Grand Tour has been criticised for being too "scripted", the presenters head to Zadar county and the island of Pag in Croatia to make a completely "unscripted" film. This results in Clarkson turning up in the Audi TT RS, Hammond turning up in the not at all comparable Ariel Nomad, and May turning up in an old Lada Riva which he turns into a fire engine. They go their separate ways though Clarkson and Hammond end up comparing their cars in a drag race, a rally stage (both of which are won by Clarkson), visiting Maslenica, the Plitvice Lakes National Park, and following the D106 road until running out of road at Žigljen ferry port. Due to a lack of fires, May has to setup his own ones until Clarkson and Hammond setup one that proves too difficult for May, which the real fire brigade manage to put out with a firefighting aircraft, destroying May's Lada fire engine in the process. Michael Ball and Alfie Boe compete in "Celebrity Face Off" with Ball setting the faster time and becoming the "fastest classical singer with some kind of interesting connection to the British motor industry".
so we were being followed everywhere by the paparazzi, and TV crews.
Avoiding any understeer there.
God, that really is a pea souper. Could you see all right?
There is a large range of fire-fighting accoutrements on board.
- It was a complicated tweet. - No, it wasn't complicated.
- (TYRES SQUEAL) - Ooh, getting a bit of tyre squeal there.
with a well-groomed scrotum? No, that's...
It makes the ride on this 700-horsepower hardcore supercar
God, that really is fishtailing down there. Onto the tarmac once again.
Overall, they've lost about 18 kilogram up here.
but it only weighs 670 kilo.
He said, "Why do you wanna leave this job? You're on 60 quid a week."
It's more like the sort of vicar that will go,
Does that mad old ape really believe his air hostess chariot
faster than you'd expect, you can fit the firemen in it, and the water.
Variable Drift Control. It lets you select the angle of dangle through your drift
I know! It's a demonstration, you moron!
It was all vowel? Which it is, "aa-ee-aa-uu-uu". Nobody likes classical music.
So, the throttle response, the gearbox, the suspension,
with, on the bonnet, with a big penis shape on it.
We've lost the distraction, in quite a big way, actually.
You just go along and it goes "beep".
to the fizzing brilliance underneath.
by the ultimate tech nerd from the Kingdom of Geeks.
and the metalworking, the foreman came up and said, "What the (BLEEP) wrong?"
and they didn't turn the extractor fan on.
A dab of brakes. Down the box to keep the fire lit.
we were finally ready for our showdown.
God, that really is fishtail down there. Onto the tarmac once again.
It's difficult to think of anyone who really needs a supercharge Ariel Nomad.
You're losing. Catch up here. You've got Fires Extinguished,
because what we've deduce from that is the car you loved
But I plough on regardless.
who a couple of days ago summon a woman from the other side of London
The worst thing was being shove through the powder coating room. That was...
That itch like crazy, that did. That was rough.
and just started spraying and keel over and that was it.
I adore it!
is the way it beep as you're driving along for no reason.
It's like... It sounds like a bear that's trodden on a plug?
You were nominate for your mid-season haircut, that's true,
He says he's organise a demonstration
...we found an abandon runway.
All the paintwork, cars were smash to pieces with bricks,
JEREMY: James eventually realise that in an unscripted world
Right, and he's disappear.
Well, I just borrow that from Audi.
Yes, you are. Just because you can't be bother and you've done it wrong.
Right down to the engine bay that glows red when you unlock the doors.
- A deserve award. - Oh, yeah, it is.
It smell like one of your audiences.
I patrol in your area and you summon me if you need a fire putting out.
brick around the metal box, fired it up on the first test of one of the engines,
simply dive into the computers and activate
As we argue about our mismatched cars, James arrived...
Have you fold your tray table away ready for when you stop?
Taking me to school, funnily enough. Third day he had it
Whatever your music is, however, it is unbelievably popular.
which is a genuinely fascinating thing that we've managed to find with you two.
makes a terribly annoying noise.
Luckily though, Hammond then had a sudden burst of intelligence.
It's for Accidentally Filling Up the Petrol Tank of a Supercar With Water Award.
Actually, no, I'll go further, I'm in love. This is utterly brilliant.
A deliberately wide line round the first corner,
to the fizzing brilliance underneath.
Cos they had the engine, presumably your dad's engines, weren't they?
- Is that seat back upright? - Where are we going?
Cutting that corner nicely, sliding wide on that one.
before I set off. I've got nowhere to put it.
wherever we've started it, and put it out.
JEREMY: Meanwhile, back in the 21st century,
but actually that's not strictly true, is it? You're not...
Well, not smoothly, virtually stopping.
That fits the bill perfectly.
They basically got some things right about TVR, so...
But I ploughed on regardless.
and we were looking for somewhere to have our drag race.
I'd personally prefer to do another race of some sort.
It was obviously a slow news week in Croatia,
this thing definitely matches the Ferrari 488
JEREMY: James eventually realised that in an unscripted world
You always think, they couldn't possibly have done this?
Sorry, I normally think...
That's right. That's absolutely right.
is because it's the only mid-engine supe car
Are you just being obtuse because I did?
As we argued about our mismatched cars, James arrived...
That's nice and smooth through there. Now, are you exuberant on the gravel?
James, this is very riveting, but it's irrelevant.
cos it was too scripted, too faked and too set-up.
how quickly my roving fire engine could just put it out
Well, anyway, I'd like to present you with your Nigel for Appalling Continuity.
without massive gaping intakes behind the doors.
Back at the start line, the news was bleak.
- A deserving winner. - You switched to a completely different car.
and in every detail, it's simply sensational.
God! It's the grip! It's staggering!
cos it would be a bit embarrassing.
to turn something into an amusing fire engine. It can't be done.
Absolutely unbelievable. And flick it in.
Three points for me, most economical obviously,
James, this is very riveting, but it's irrelevant.
The horsepower is... Well, it's ridiculous is what it is.
or underneath the carpets on the boot floor, leave rude messages.
Eventually we met up with our colleague, who was eager to explain what he had in mind.
and settle down for a relaxing cruise.
to put their tools to do anything when they got there, so it's useless.
- Maybe it's just bored. - I'd be bored if I was a PHEV, but anyway.
It was awful when it was first launched seven years ago
beat the magnificent Nomad is that you fed the finishing line's cat.
which is a genuinely fascinating thing that we've managed to find with you two.
No, he can't. Does he have a hydraulic handbrake?