New here? Create a new Account
Move to the previous cue
Move to the next cue
Increase size of captions
Decrease size of captions
Translate current cue
00:28:17
Abbi Jacobson, Eric André, Nat Faxon
138
He's sleeping with the chambermaid. And she's sleeping with the chambermaid.
Send her back up whatever beanstalk she rode in on.
I know. So much swagger, right? He's, like, ugly-sexy.
I'm losing it now, but I think it was about scone?
So, tell me why the damsel flock to you,
you'd find out that we're all about peace and love and goddamn body positivity!
And on the exhale, Elfo will tell us more about his girlfriend.
You help me keep up the charade a bit longer.
No flower could have a stench as beautiful as yours, honey.
It was fun stabbing all those iguana in that box.
[Bean] No, he gets crumb everywhere.
How was your trip, sweetie?
We ain't having no giant rampage in here.
It sorta seems like you might be a liar.
Why didn't we give in to our instinct?
-[screams] Are we in the plague pit? -[man] You are!
I never had to stoop to kindness or charm.
Really. I know I'm a jerk and a liar, Miss Giant Lady.
we're both imprison.
She ooze grace and a shiny trail wherever she goes.
So, tell me why the damsels flock to you,
I crawl through a door and saw a rainbow,
Elfo, I owe you an apology, man. I totally saw your girlfriend back there.
You said to act pathetic to these women. Then you swept in and stole them.
This validate my bigotry!
Is your dinner poison? The answer may surprise you.
You said to act pathetic to these women. Then you swept in and stole them.
Wow, you're trap in a pretty sad life.
What can I say? I'm attract to people who are good at their job.
And if we succeed, how shall I be reward?
no matter how hard I laugh.
I lie because I was too insecure to admit I tried to kiss you.
I've come to slay the mean lady who threw me off a cliff and ate my horse.
Ugh! That was stuck in my throat for days! Oh, my mouth taste like a barn.
I'm losing it now, but I think it was about scones?
Send her back up whatever beanstalk she rode in on.
So tragically young.
That's why I love her. She's so darn smart.
She oozes grace and a shiny trail wherever she goes.
Personally, I prefer to watch the news.
Don't listen to him. You're obviously a great couple.
Uh, definitely not.
Want me to ask if you're gonna die alone, or are we good?
Perhaps I'll see you in the dining room, then?
Because sometimes I feel like a freak, too.
Oh, man, I actually feel kind of bad.
Oh, man, I actually feel kind of bad.
Come along.
I haven't lived long enough to give up on my dreams yet.
Hmm, kinda took you a long time to bring her up, though.
Yes, really far away.
It's too bad we never experienced bliss together.
but you have a hidden rage inside you that no one else can see.
Bean, I should've confessed this a long time ago, but I was too ashamed.
♪ I got the stinger on my dinger And now it's all inflamed ♪
Because she is legit and totally real and very special to me!
I lied because I was too insecure to admit I tried to kiss you.
Chicks love pathetic.
Bean, I should've confessed this a long time ago, but I was too ashamed.
Hmm, I'll hit mute.
Your nose is so beautiful. Everything's so unreal.
Brace yourselves for the inevitable visualizations.
I also had this profound realization.
Uh, a supportive one. She can fight her own battles.
Elfo, don't freak out. Just stay calm.
I was a gorgeous nobleman before I became a pig.
Well, now I'm really curious to meet her.
Oh, I'm desperate. Please, I'll do anything.
Huh, weird.
Wow, looks like it got pretty rough.
and see if there's any attractive singles in our area waiting to talk to you.
You're sad and hideous. Play it up.