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00:41:59
Emma Roberts, Lea Michele, Abigail Breslin
91
and Jell-O shot gavage
everything my stepdaughter, Hester, has just said.
Why would I waste my money buying toenail clippers
but when you want to make an omelet, right?
Number Three went full lez
about her sister killing herself with laxative,
because I was tting mad cramp, and I knew it was gonna be trouble.
Please! It was clearly a ruse
to do the upkeep for our new memorial.
did not, in fact, swipe right on your profile.
Now, let's all raise a Dixie cup of delicious prune wine
make him stand out amongst those frat dudes.
descend into a nightmare of accusation and recrimination.
and filed an amicus brief with the prosecution,
We're gonna make cookies and brownie,
- But he's a moron. - I know.
and then she convinced your split personality to join her on a killing spree.
- of growing up in our house. - But, sweetie, you're toxic,
And now that the truth is out that she's probably a murderer,
Chanel #5 admitted to you that she was the baby in the bathtub,
so I needed a persona to hide behind
Well, yeah, you came to the White Stallion with us,
Tim Daly in Death of a Salesman would've turned me
They legally disown you three weeks ago
entitle to a jury of hot, rich, skinny chicks
I mean, I was stalk you outside of the sorority house,
When I fart, I cup it in my hand and smell it.
Bail is revoke!
Gigi was pretty bum out
that Number Five so lovingly brew for us in the toilet.
Oh, Chanel, the security footage beg to differ.
Chanel, your parents abandon you.
I didn't do it, I swear!
but then you disappear as soon as we got there.
I hope you guys aren't freak out by my appearance
It cease to be just a booty call.
Your entire defense consisted of you scream at the jury
that we enroll our daughter at Wallace University
I was sip banana daiquiris at the White Stallion.
when God already bless me with toenail clippers
Especially since the new Kappa seems to be align so clearly
We shine too bright.
What charity will the Dollar Scholars be pledging to support?
I unlock the brakes on Grandma's wheelchair
got closer to being the Kappa Tau that you always intend it to be!
that I have ever encounter.
From henceforth, all proceeds
It's awfully convenient that you're the one who noticed
that Number Five so lovingly brewed for us in the toilet.
and my boobs were remarkably perky and even.
Zayday here is gonna be president of this place someday.
trapped with a bunch of mentally unstable women
Sam, wherever you are,
They legally disowned you three weeks ago
hereby declare this trial a farce.
aka one of the murderers... you are under arrest.
Just look at her insane, obviously made-up, high school transcript.
Hester is our biological daughter. She definitely was not adopted.
And unfortunately for you, Chanel Oberlin...
that there's absolutely no records on your parents anywhere?
They need to be truly punished.
and the school is back open and extremely safe,
And I certainly would know what she would look like all grown up.
exactly what you're proposing.
with a pair of scissors earlier this afternoon.
Sometimes I made friends,
to finally put our plan into action,
Whore deep! What kind of a question is that?!
Especially since the new Kappa seems to be aligned so clearly
It is the truth, you frumpy monster.
I for one prefer the saccharine banality of life
with a supe tight bod.
For, like, the millionth time,
I was under the impression that I had the inalienable right to a jury of my peers.
She's a weird psychopath who would look like Boone's homely, bloated sister
Unisex, kind of satanic
I'm very embarrassed about that.
almost militant commitment to political correctness
Boone went undercover year before I did.
they're getting a full frontal lobotomy.
Plausible deniability! You knew by keeping
Kind of ironic that our first victim
because you were too ashamed of your feelings for her,
into a much more sane young woman.
I know that I can be socially awkward
Girls, I am thrilled
No, this is more poetic. It hits these girls right in their vanity.
a pneumatic nail gun, two axes, and a crossbow.
on account of it being so traumatic.
It's unanimous.
Chanel #5 didn't insert the heel hard enough to pierce my orbital socket.
But this, this is real suspicious.