Name: Maleant Data Systems Solutions
Released: 2017-04-25
Cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Josh Brener, Matt Ross

1) revote

and call for a revote tomorrow, but I'm here today.
2) redraft

Our subsequent order of business is the approval of Pied Piper's redraft
3) shuck

Dinesh, don't fall for his "aw, shuck" routine.
4) turd

because there's a massive turd floating on the surface of your pool.
5) droppings

While I have you, there were fresh droppings near my cot.
6) rhinoceros

Butterfly? Rhinoceros?
7) candor

In all candor, I was feeling the same,
8) heft

We'll both wield the heft of our considerable fortunes
9) skimmer

Well, I hope you own a skimmer
10) gazelle

I don't care either, but, you know, I think maybe a gazelle is more like it.
11) belongings

My tenant has been leaving my belongings in the alley behind my condo,
12) rodent

because the scent of a predator can keep rodent at bay.
13) cheetah

Fuck that. A cheetah's faster.
14) incubator

What? What other incubator? Where?
15) rascal

Little rascal. (CHUCKLES)
16) hallway

This is a hallway.
17) bezel

I can maybe add some color to it and give the bezel a little slam.
18) bullshit

I've been writing quick, bullshit subpar code for 48 hours, and I want to kill myself.

1) reassign

14-A, you've been reassign to lot D.
2) obligate

I am now obligate to vote in favor of it.
3) evaporate

and half the water evaporate overnight.
4) beset

It's funny, we're named Pied Piper, but we're beset with rats.
5) stab

I save your ass and you stab me in the back like this?
6) expire

to complete a working prototype before the deal expire.
7) validate

He's validate the market, so there's no reason to revote.
8) upset

I'm not sure what upset me more,
9) tear

It didn't work, the lion tore into the bison and then laid waste to the herd,
10) steal

You stole my business model.
11) admit

You just admit to starting a competing incubator.
12) invite

Also, I invite you to click "yes" if our ad experience was relevant to you.
13) shit

Guys, please. Let's just shit this thing out so we can get on to building the platform.
14) catch

I've caught you in a web of your own lies, haven't I?
15) suck

Just 'cause making the box suck doesn't mean we have to suck at making it.
16) draw

You drew a rectangle and said, "if it was an animal, it'd be a box turtle."
17) deliver

The second that we deliver a product that meets those specs,
18) arm

from Richard Hendricks and Pied Piper, arm with a powerful new CEO,

1) incestuously

Rather than incestuously promoting the same faces from within,
2) unopposed

you have left them to gather strength unopposed,
3) factually

That is factually correct.
4) chronically

chronically flatulent.
5) objectively

is objectively worth $250 million.
6) inward

Our only mistake was looking inward.
7) outward

It is now time to look outward.
8) accidentally

So, Big Head built a better version of your incubator, accidentally.
9) nonetheless

but far nonetheless.
10) upstream

What if we actually move upstream and connect the parser...
11) literally

I am literally standing within feet of three potential candidates
12) loud

Hearing it out loud, the first one seems worse.
13) strictly

If one goes strictly by the numbers, these numbers,
14) overnight

and half the water evaporated overnight.
15) regardless

Well, regardless, what you'll see once the paid announcement is over
16) personally

It is my honor to personally welcome you all to Hooli.
17) obviously

Hmm. Obviously, you don't have your Hooli news alerts up to date.
18) definitely

There you go. Definitely, a slam. Slam it.

1) subpar

I've been writing quick, bullshit subpar code for 48 hours, and I want to kill myself.
2) unspeakable

Is it any wonder the result was just as unspeakable as that thing?
3) shrewd

He is a shrewd businessman.
4) badass

That was pretty badass, Richard.
5) grotesque

A grotesque monstrosity born of relentless inbreeding.
6) relentless

A grotesque monstrosity born of relentless inbreeding.
7) lucrative

will be far more lucrative in the long term than any box.
8) disgusting

Fucking Miami Vice. Disgusting architecture!
9) awkward

but I thought that discussing it with you might be awkward.
10) flawed

My point is, just as not all dogs are as flawed as the bulldog,
11) shocking

- It's just a little shocking. - Oh.
12) aesthetic

you and I need to develop a shared aesthetic vocabulary.
13) cruel

A kindly pet, or humanity's cruel mistake?
14) useless

The guy you once called more useless than a bag of dicks without a handle?
15) unlikely

And it is the safest room in the event, unlikely, of a fire.
16) bare

I mean, are you just going to do the bare minimum and call it a day?
17) fancy

All right, I'm going to take a spin on that fancy Japanese toilet,
18) elegant

You can't help but be elegant.

Silicon Valley » Season 3 » Maleant Data Systems Solutions