Name: The Patent Troll
Released: 2017-06-20
Cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Josh Brener, Matt Ross

1) litigator

For a good litigator, we're talking at least...
2) infringer

and then threaten litigation against accused infringer,
3) motherfucker

I eat that motherfucker's lunch every day.
4) breather

So, care to take a breather and...
5) decryption

built-in intrusion prevention, SSL decryption and inspection,
6) pud

It's embarrassing to pull your pud
7) frat

Limp biscuit's an old frat ritual,
8) snowflake

if I had listened to you delicate little snowflake and settled.
9) fucker

Did that fucker password-protect the settings?
10) imbalance

There is a grotesque gender imbalance
11) pallet

and he's got the hookup on a couple of pallet
12) biscuit

Limp biscuit's an old frat ritual,
13) subgroup

Of utilities. Yeah, subgroup mobile, subgroup storage.
14) bullshit

Bullshit. No, no, not bullshit. Computer science.
15) flair

And I added a little visual flair.
16) cracker

It's where guys stand in a circle and masturbate onto a cracker.
17) installment

But can you hack this finder's fee into 52 installment,
18) chunk

or give me a chunk of their song.

1) encroach

of this male culture which is encroach on our feminist island.
2) brag

He brag to a sales rep at LaCroix about doing it to Sonia Sotomayor,
3) vomit

Wow, you really vomit a lot.
4) squish

Hey, I squish those front-end bugs.
5) accuse

and then threaten litigation against accuse infringers,
6) dissolve

And if we win, we dissolve the patent,
7) devise

ever devise by a fucking genius
8) slap

Dinesh, the one good thing that came out of you slap your body
9) expire

Uh-oh! That yogurt is expire.
10) whip

Jian Yang whip Periscope and walked out
11) regret

I-I-I-- I regret it the second it came out of my mouth.
12) blunt

...may have blunt my conventional masculinity
13) borrow

May I borrow this hammer to pound in these flamboyant little nails?
14) leap

but... we've leap from bat saliva to humans
15) negotiate

and we are now officially negotiating the finer points of his deal.
16) steal

claimed that they stole that song, right?
17) settle

Anyway, the writers usually settle, pay me off,
18) deserve

Yeah, no one deserve that.

1) harshly

Yeah. I'll-- I'll send him a harshly worded cease-and-desist letter.
2) realistically

because we're gonna need it if, or more realistically when,
3) inherently

We are dumbing down machines that are inherently superior.
4) sadly

But sadly, all the good music copyrights are gone.
5) practically

that had cost me practically nothing
6) literally

No, man, I literally eat his food. What do you want?
7) essentially

Why don't you all just-- Essentially, uh,
8) perfectly

I'm perfectly capable of figuring it out myself.
9) apparently

you apparently tried to organize against me
10) definitely

And I can definitely not do that.
11) eventually

But you could argue that he eventually won in the court of history.
12) twice

lightning ain't gonna strike twice, is it?
13) exactly

Uh, not exactly. Because he...
14) immediately

And, like, immediately.
15) perhaps

perhaps the most advanced and sophisticated pattern-matching algorithm
16) sometimes

Right. Sometimes it's a Wheat Thin.
17) finally

is that we finally have a network with real security value.
18) otherwise

we now have 20 grand we would have otherwise lost

1) preemptively

have reached out to me preemptively to settle.
2) underpowered

And you have one underpowered laptop,
3) flamboyant

May I borrow this hammer to pound in these flamboyant little nails?
4) motionless

He grimly does his work, then he sits motionless
5) grotesque

There is a grotesque gender imbalance
6) vulgar

against that cyberterrorist in a vulgar parody of the act of love
7) brute

but I was able to brute-force the backdoor password
8) embarrassing

It's embarrassing to pull your pud
9) fictional

Who? My fictional supervisor.
10) utmost

Yeah. You have my utmost discretion. Thank you.
11) limp

It's like-- it's like limp biscuit.
12) perpetual

a perpetual royalty-free license for the patent.
13) feminist

of this male culture which is encroaching on our feminist island.
14) patented

"I think your app may infringe upon my own patented technology.
15) delicate

if I had listened to you delicate little snowflakes and settled.
16) insane

This demo is insane.
17) sophisticated

perhaps the most advanced and sophisticated pattern-matching algorithm
18) fake

Does it need fake vocal ticks like, "ah"?

Silicon Valley » Season 4 » The Patent Troll