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00:21:08
Sofía Vergara, Ed O'Neill, Julie Bowen
289
Then Dorothy Parker would make a quip, James Thurber would laugh,
I happen to be the stepfather of-
Which, by the way, I can do, because I went to trapeze school.
I am- whoo- not cut out to be a stay-at-home dad.
I'll probably take Lily out for cupcake. Mm-hmm.
I know you don't need one now, but your little boobies are gonna come in soon.
God, I feel like such a slacker. I mean, he has done so much for being so young.
Did any of them involve wrestling the ball from your own teammate?
So, we just went ahead and parked on that round thingy in the driveway.
Okay. Of course. Sweetie, you know what? Take 40.
It's a turntable, so you don't have to back out.
And that's my girlfriend, Jenny. She makes a hell of a margarita. Want one?
All right. Keep the hustle, keep the hustle. Come on, boys. Don't let 'em push you around.
I wuv baby talk.
Oh, Dad, you haven't seen him. He taunt the kids. He's abusive.
She entered that dreaded phase where my very existence embarrass her.
did a 360 and almost dunk it.
If we isolate both of them- Good, Phil, good. Thank you. Good.
I swear to God, I'll throw a shoe at your head.
And then I stole the ball from the other team,
I dare you to run slower!
They're not gonna hear us. We're trap out here.
Ay, Jay, leave him alone. No, I'm sorry, but that cow has suffer long enough.
She cheat at poker. You do.
I just miss... my grill cheese sandwiches!
Did any of them involve wrestling the ball from your own teammate?
They are deceptively hard- a curious mix of dance and strength.
No biggie. It's just Jay being Jay.
ironically, even some, uh, environmental groups.
This is a uniquely frustrating group of boys.
and we're gonna get something to eat afterwards.
Being away from my Lily is literally torture.
And so the student becomes the master. The once mighty-
I was dealing with the coach. You pushed me aside.
- Saw you in court once. - [Chuckles] Seriously?
You know, I'm obviously gonna have to go talk to my-
If you'd handled my divorce, this house would be twice as big.
Absolutely. Oh, not right- Okay.
- Yeah. - Go ahead.
Ay. But she has already six new dresses. What she needs is strappy shoes.
You know how fussy she gets when we pass her off, so-
She entered that dreaded phase where my very existence embarrasses her.
That's it. I'm doin' it.
[Coach] Come on, ladies! Move it! Goodness gracious! Turtles run faster!
Listen, if this was a Colombian soccer league, long time ago,
and I know it's selfish of me, but-
But when the stakes are high, I get a little tense.
This is a uniquely frustrating group of boys.
I love it! Okay, Jordy, you inbound to Luke.
- You're making it lame again. - Sorry.
Well, I think it'd be rude not to hear him out.
When things are relaxed, I'm great in social situations.