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01:07:06
Jeremy Clarkson, James May, Richard Hammond, Mike Skinner
62
The presenters head to Canada to prove that small SUV's are useless with Clarkson picking an Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio, May choosing a Range Rover Velar P380 and Hammond taking a Porsche Macan Turbo Performance Pack. They are shown to be slower round the Area 27 circuit than a BMW M3, not practical enough to carry Canadian Newfoundland dogs, and slower round a barrel course than a horse: concluding that SUVs are pointless. Despite this, executive producer Andy Wilman informs via text that they will race their SUVs whilst each towing a boat up a mountain. May abandons his Velar for his boat, which sinks, causing him to lose the race. Because Clarkson's Stelvio has no tow bar he cheats and exchanges it for a Ford F150 Raptor, ultimately arriving first with the presenters concluding that the Raptor was better than all the SUVs being tested. On Conversation Street the presenters talk about new SUVs and vans. Clarkson reviews the Tesla Model X at the Eboladrome and on the road, accompanied by some lawyers, ostensibly to avoid Tesla pursuing any legal action, following the previous Tesla v. Top Gear court cases. Rory McIlroy and Paris Hilton discuss their car collections before McIlroy beats Hilton to become the "World's Fastest Golfing Enthusiast".
JEREMY: And, thanks to its vindictiveness,
- Is it about iambic pentameter? - No.
Ooh, bit of understeer but just keeping it...
And the amazing thing is, you can get absolutely tonn in the back of it.
JAMES: Why are we towing speedboat?
You'd have been wearing a fur-lined anorak and nothing else.
Now, that smorgasbord
And did that kindle a love of Ferraris?
said if he goes round the corner with any tyre squeal, she's divorcing him.
Hit a big, high kerb, bent the steering axle
However, now it's time to step in a dog turd of chat
Argh! My testicle are retreating!
Mud rut selected.
Handling is affected by water ingress!
for 5.1 kilometre.
I get a bong to tell me I've engaged the autopilot,
It's got dry sump, active aero,
was that I had my big parka on,
for libel law and reviews generally,
This is an oar and a boat suit and...
So, this may be a two-and-a-half tonne,
I think the biggest drawback with this car, actually, is the width of it.
I get a bong to tell me I've engaged the autopilot,
because of the electric tailgate
might be a bit of a distraction when you're driving.
And then there was the business on the motorway
JEREMY: This is the most lamentable spectacle!
because it doesn't jig around a bit when you're trying to get in it.
JEREMY: Having carefully unhitch the trailer...
My bits just shrivel!
It looks like somebody's startle it! (SHRIEKS)
then veer off into the rough at the last minute.
The problem is that they've rout the exhaust
So why don't I just unload the boat and boat across?
and I literally can't be arse to walk to it.
They reckon that by the end of this year,
Most of all, though, I'm intrigue by this car
If you don't want to see the car you're driving depict on the screen,
But, any girls watching, they will have been impress.
- JEREMY: Look, he's going... - Argh, you bastard!
JAMES: Why are we tow speedboats?
I smash the Rolls into this huge rock.
I'm sorry, that never cease to amaze me.
Because I borrow a transit van the other day
Unless, of course, I can't be bother to do even that.
It was stolen.
I'm just going as fast as I dare.
However, I acknowledge and accept
they're trap -
We've argue this many times.
That's where it belong, on a track.
Hit a big, high kerb, bent the steering axle
Boat is still attach, correct.
I get a bong to tell me I've engage the autopilot,
and I actually hang myself pretty much as I...
- Yep, and Tesla sue. - Yes, they did.
Eerily quiet.
the Velar's electronics, predictably,
but this is getting awfully close
The boat is beginning to behave oddly!
other cars on the road unexpectedly accelerating.
Onwards, to the next part of our test.
The one area of golf I really genuinely love are the golf carts.
That looks utterly feeble.
I'm going backwards now.
First right, wide, but nicely held.
But there is a lot of electronically-controlled stuff.
they are incredibly popular.
With the key nowhere to be found,
Which was precisely in the middle of nowhere.
Foot hard down, barely moving.
Legally, cars aren't allowed to drive around by themselves
the Range Rover is literally the best."
RICHARD: James, meanwhile, had sorted out his route
that a number of external factors can reasonably result
Virtually parked.
but, as you can see, perfectly capable
and so much more besides.
I mean, I'm not there, obviously,
- OK. - Cos apparently
That is definitely a head-turner.
But apart from that, I have to say,
JEREMY: Having carefully unhitched the trailer...
JAMES: Eventually, I arrived at the lake,
saying that you'd died in an autoerotic accident.
It's my honest belief that a driverless system
that in Italy it's unmanly and undignified to tow something.
JEREMY: This is the most lamentable spectacle!
They have a mind of their own and it's a vindictive mind.
are dreary and drab and rubbish.
JEREMY: Which was to find out how utilitarian they are.
They do. The four-wheel-drive system's all idiotic,
in the supercharged V6 Range Rover Velar.
I'm going to engage what's called "Ludicrous Mode".
Which is slightly murderous, actually, is the word I'm looking for.
Suggesting a claim by the manufacturer is untrue
it's got all the equipment you'd expect on a posh car,
Yeah, and needless to say, we couldn't agree.
Oh, it's gone into limp home mode!
Oh, I know, that's unbelievable,
- That was rubbish! - What was that?
It's got dry sump, active aero,
but that there's nothing here for the enthusiastic motorist.
is faster, cheaper, more economical
It's sensible and daft.
there's quite a bit of, well, it's quite rude.
but they also dip if they see a reflective road sign.
But the speedboat is still upright, and that's good.
have any inherent defect.
the most relaxing thing I've ever driven.
The electric handbrake is as useless as the electric tailgate!
Or, if I'm bored with being in - where am I here? -