Name: Founder Friendly
Released: 2017-04-25
Cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Josh Brener, Matt Ross

1) shittiness

just to offset the shittiness of all the shitty stuff.
2) philtrum

I mean, it's a little tricky because they don't have a philtrum,
3) repercussion

any of those people with no repercussion whatsoever,
4) aught

He was, in the aught. What's he done in the 20-teens?
5) perpetuity

You will not discuss anything you did at Hooli at all, in perpetuity,
6) shrew

Well, you, madam, are a shrew of the first order.
7) mustache

You turn too fast, that mustache is on your ear.
8) shovel

and facing charges for attacking a police horse with a shovel.
9) cto

Yeah, CTO. It's a demotion.
10) severance

Any of those people could be dismissed with no severance.
11) dilution

You lose a little blood with the dilution for the new CEO,
12) standpoint

From a legal standpoint, it was a clear violation of my parole,
13) bullshit

which is kind of total bullshit, right?
14) grille

Fuck your Bam-bot! You little Stanford cunts fucked up my grille!
15) helm

Have been ever since you were at the helm of Aviato.
16) madam

Well, you, madam, are a shrew of the first order.
17) meth

shaking off a meth high,
18) parole

From a legal standpoint, it was a clear violation of my parole,

1) undervalue

can I really be expected to do my best work when I am constantly feeling undervalue
2) negate

1700 people slated for exiting. Their negate options total 780,000 shares.
3) doth

Oh, the nest wherein the asp doth coil.
4) allocate

That money can be allocate anyway you see fit.
5) threaten

So, in effect, you kind of just threaten to sue me,
6) slate

1700 people slate for exiting. Their negated options total 780,000 shares.
7) declare

and you just declare your intention to walk.
8) deserve

deserve to be fired.
9) acquire

until it was acquire by Microsoft for $2 billion.
10) laugh

Why are you laugh?
11) invest

In the version of Pied Piper in which I am invest,
12) quit

We quit out of solidarity with Richard.
13) sue

because I am gonna get it all back when I sue the living shit out of you!
14) suppose

and run the company the way it's suppose to be run?
15) appreciate

and I appreciate your position.
16) realize

I realize this may be bittersweet, but earlier this evening,
17) throw

before you throw everything that we built away.
18) bet

Yeah. I bet his mother's dead.

1) technically

No. Technically, I'm Pied Piper's corporate counsel,
2) whatsoever

any of those people with no repercussions whatsoever,
3) incredibly

Jack Barker. He's an incredibly skilled, top-notch CEO.
4) legally

Well, legally, there cannot be.
5) nevertheless

Nevertheless,
6) essentially

Essentially, you have created a company that is too valuable for you to run.
7) aside

Uh, all joking aside, I actually have a few thoughts
8) basically

Well, you basically just loaded a gun and handed it to Hanneman,
9) somewhere

Anyway, I hope we each find a good fit somewhere.
10) obviously

and obviously Wall Street is responding to that.
11) unfortunately

Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to discuss him
12) successfully

Congratulations, you've successfully broken a good man.
13) truly

Then I guess you are truly delusional.
14) exactly

But we're not exactly super-psyched with the quality of our engineering.
15) earlier

I realize this may be bittersweet, but earlier this evening,
16) immediately

Today, effective immediately,
17) sometimes

But sometimes, failure is just failure.
18) fucking

I'm going over there right fucking now, before they leave and...

1) unprompted

Whose CEO, unprompted, said,
2) deviled

Deviled eggs as an entrée?
3) segregated

Segregated water fountains?
4) courageous

It was a courageous move.
5) arrogant

That's really arrogant.
6) erectile

Erectile dysfunction because of corroded penile arteries?
7) poppy

- Is that a poppy seed muffin? - Yes, sir.
8) rad

I got to warn you, though. It's pretty rad.
9) upset

I understand you're upset.
10) calm

ERLICH: Just stay calm. We're gonna fight this.
11) nervous

- So, are you nervous? - Uh...
12) innocent

It began as an innocent celebration of our arbitration victory.
13) loud

I hear each and every one of your concerns loud and clear,
14) invalid

and are thus legally invalid,
15) technological

gonna be quite of a technological challenge.
16) brilliant

And a brilliant coder.
17) fucked

So, you're saying that I'm fucked if I leave?
18) emotional

As you can see, this is a very emotional time for me as well,

Silicon Valley » Season 3 » Founder Friendly