New here? Create a new Account
Move to the previous cue
Move to the next cue
Increase size of captions
Decrease size of captions
Translate current cue
00:29:59
Abbi Jacobson, Eric André, Nat Faxon
292
There shall be, tonight at the castle, a wicked rager,
the flab on my arms said different. Poor Chazz.
Oh, no. Party crasher!
"Embarrassed yet unbowed, the scrivener made his egress.
[gasps] I'm gonna drink flaming grog from a baby skull.
Don't worry, my liege. His lack of blood has put him in a delirious state.
by a lunatic who doesn't work for the spa?
Okay. Picking up the poker. Opening the flue, and...
We want immortality, that our names might live on for a hundred years.
Before I left, I didn't have any idea that my size, my stature, was...
Who'd you hear that from? Get out of here, scribe guy.
The hollowed-out one with the booze inside?
[Bean] Fine, coward.
Not thinking about your tummy troubles now, are you?
Have you ever been clamped down naked on a slab
At the sound of the gong, let the ritual begin.
-A little bug never hurt anyone. -What about that squirrel?
the prime mover of history, the unseen hand.
...and even though I knew I was destine for greatness,
Uh, where's Bean? I thought you were supposed to be chaperon her.
Oh, why did I behead everyone with a medical license?
Don't rattle the clamps. It enrage me.
"Embarrassed yet unbowed, the scrivener made his egress.
I've already summon the plumber.
which most certainly was not overthrow by barbarians.
ever since they were invent five years ago.
-Does it hurt when I poke you like this? -Ow!
Good, good. Now, how does it feel when I slap your belly like this?
Elfo, you scrub the blood off the walls, and I'll sweep up the crushed pretzels.
Elfo, you scrub the blood off the walls, and I'll sweep up the crush pretzels.
Your snowy hair and stormy breath remind me of my homeland.
Let's make this night so legendary, they caution children about it.
Take your assign positions and prepare for our sacred ceremony.
"And they looked into each other's eyes, and the question arose.
I guess I've always wanted to watch the sunrise with a girl I fancy.
-What the hell? -[Chazz] You're cure.
I guess what I'm trying to get at, and not so eloquently, but...
as they inevitably will,
Wow, maybe someday you guys will play Cornchella.
Look, uh, maybe I'll see you sometime.
I don't know. Has literally anyone other than you arrived?
This shoddy kingdom is ours forever.
Portcullis properly lowered to defensive position.
Certainly no religious sex magic rituals.
She's standing there alone. You're all fueled up on cheese.
I feel like I finally know why.
Too late. Tonight's turned into a carriage wreck.
Yeah, the princess is almost never here.
Actually, sorry, I'm late for a crusade.
Her dad needs me for the Elixir of Life. It's kind of like insurance.
because inside there is pain.
Oh, you will soon, my sire.
Come back later with an open mind.
I'm sorry. I'm sort of in the middle of someone right now.
What? She's unchaperoned?
"Embarrassed yet unbowed, the scrivener made his egress.
I'm all about possessive pronouns.
[whispers] Often the most regrettable hookups.
with olive skin and an unbridled sense of caution. [chuckles]
Don't worry, my liege. His lack of blood has put him in a delirious state.
Wait a minute. You named your pet squirrel Bloaty before he died and got all bloated?
I wouldn't say I was locked up in a lunatic asylum because I was crazy.
Hey, little guy, if I find so much as a misplaced hair when I get back,
Your snowy hair and stormy breath remind me of my homeland.
And your sassy friend, the talking cat.
the prime movers of history, the unseen hand.
[gasps] I'm gonna drink flaming grog from a baby skull.
Hear ye, hear ye! The return of King Zog is imminent.
[grunts] When I'm immortal, I'll have plenty of time to consider things.
Dance? Why, I'd be delighted. I love to dance.
At the sound of the gong, let the ritual begin.
then keep drinking so the inevitable rejection doesn't hurt so bad.