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00:21:41
Sofía Vergara, Ed O'Neill, Julie Bowen
169
It's gonna be a scorcher in the desert today, so dress accordingly.
Listen, I'm five away. I hope you like blueberry scone and Dusty Springfield.
And I can't slather that boring music in tartar sauce.
- Oh. Did you mean optometrist? - Whatever.
What, are you saying that I'm some kind of pervert?
I used to be a fireman, you know.
Justin, more booze.
Sweetie, you gotta stop watching the news.
Ah, are you making a bad pun or just lisping?
That and anything set against the backdrop of competitive cheerleading.
Chop, chop. It's a two-hour drive...
- Let him finish the joke. - And one of them has a limp.
Boys versus girls. Testosterone versus estrogen.
and another flock of birds fell out of the sky.
A herd of cows dropped dead for no reason.
But in all fairness, our son is our business.
Take it down a notch. You two go in, have a great time.
- John Schneider from Dukes of Hazzard? - That was your first crush?
Yeah, I know you. You're the guy who just broke into my house and fondle me.
I was startle, you know.
You drool all the time. Mom had to take you to a specialist.
- Where's my soft-boiled egg? - I scramble it.
They're gay. They know what sho they own.
You were invading my First Amendment right to privacy.
So we sneak off to the movies...
Bingo! And for the rest of my life, I swore one day I would marry Gina Lollobrigida.
I know I freak out on you last night, but you have to see it from my point of view.
And yet here he was laugh with my friends.
Oh, um, our son, Luke, told us that you invite him over here to watch movies.
The Oliver who almost burn down our garage?
We'd really, really appreciate it.
You don't even have to pay me. I promise I'll take super good care of her.
And if you knew Frankie Valli, you'd be crack up right now.
I think I just pull something.
and caught me doing the most embarrassing thing that a boy can do...
Cartoon, kills himself, she lose an arm.
We haven't, uh, formally met. Phil Dunphy.
And with this guy, I mean that literally.
So I'm 12 years old. I'm staying overnight at my best friend Jim's house.
You see what you're doing? You're tearing this family apart!
Could you ask her if she could possibly babysit Lily on Saturday night?
Oh, he's all alone. Invite him over.
- I get it. - And especially you guys.
Alex, honey, come on. We're gonna be late.
The Oliver who almost burned down our garage?
You don't even have to pay me. I promise I'll take super good care of her.
I think his good looks have actually held him back.
Yeah, our babysitter bailed, and we're kind of in a bind so...
Can't come fast enough. Quittin' time. Am I right, Jay?
- I'll see you later. - What are you going to do?
Can't come fast enough. Quittin' time. Am I right, Jay?
You two have a great time together.
And if your friends don't believe in you, then what else do you have?
I ever tell you the story about me and crab cakes?
Oh. Sorry I "aggravated" you.
and caught me doing the most embarrassing thing that a boy can do...
Don't be ridiculous. There's nothing out there to be afraid of.
That's so unfair! You don't even know him 'cause you're too afraid to talk to him.
I'm just saying he's a very versatile actor.
Gloria, now listen. I know that you're upset with me about that concert thing...
Oh, my God, yes. Bo Duke. Delicious.
- Right. - Wow. You are stunning.
I was drunk! I'm not going shopping with Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
- Why not? - Because he's weird.
So what? The game's over just because you're afraid of stupid Mr. Kleezak?
Well, I do okay.
and not let a serial killer in the front door.
Oh, that's very sweet, honey.
- You being smart? - You mean in school?
How rich are you?
Are you serious?
in the fresh air getting some exercise, okay?