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01:01:22
Jeremy Clarkson, James May, Richard Hammond, Mike Skinner
95
- Such bollock. - Just be quiet!
A bit of a wobble there! Some oversteer,
- And a hearse. - Yeah.
If Alfa Romeo launched a dog turd,
Glorious poise in the rain through there.
It's why boats have bilge pumps.
for the cod and the haddock of the Caribbean.
- Oh! I mean, it's just women with armpit hair growing kale.
is that the bloke who designed the bonnet,
In fact, the only fly in the ointment
Itch, that you've managed to scratch
- Yes. - "Hello. Hammersmith 37 here."
the throttle response, the gearbox, the steering.
identified by marine biologist
a carbon-fibre bonnet,
Or a tanker.
built ourselves a raft,
to the magnificent spectacle
you put an idiot spaniel on the crane,
your drifting, stupid, orange biscuit-tin boat
was its propulsion system.
the rev counter is still a blur
James, can you just take the slack?
Oh. He hasn't overdo it.
Sadly, James misunderstood
are beset with problems.
and then do it when they overtake a Toyota Prius.
that was invent by Stalin.
if they fiddle with the ECU on the diesel engines,
weld two cars to the seabed,
No, I steer it! You just release it when it's on there!
And then the car itself just rust away
They were still shout at me as I arrived
You stole our film.
He said, "Because it smell of old record players."
Well, James, he's been hammer
This has now been transform
and that attract all the things
I could have buzz around this amazing machine all day,
If you attach us to the crane,
They were still shouting at me as I arrive
I thought this was suppose to be
Because they shoot them here.
Big war hero, kick the British out.
After we'd rescue James,
Soon, our first car was ready to be lift onto the boat.
some supremely brave and talented footballers.
So, reluctantly, I broke off
It genuinely is. It's a little old Corsa,
No, I think we've accidentally turned down Rant Lane this week.
If I want to go backwards, I should go that way.
Sadly, however,
- Can I come aboard? - No.
Yes, because the BMW has been electronically limited to 155.
That was nowhere near the cars. Nowhere near.
- It is! - It's barely a boat. Look at it!
- You just said that out loud on television. - I did.
that I was doing perfectly.
before I found somewhere to try it out,
You would have had both, obviously.
It's falling apart!
as you're forever telling us.
will eventually become a beautiful coral reef.
erm... I'd successfully
You cannot possibly say that.
where the cruise liners normally park,
No, he's absolutely right. Motown is happier music.
it certainly doesn't go like one.
Nearly!
He'll have overdone it, won't he?
and punctual and sober and well-dressed, he's an Audi.
It's like his old table with his Bakelite telephone on it.
They're adamant that this is all Alfa Romeo's own work.
That's a reassuring noise.
We headed back to shore for an agreeable dinner,
into something that is sensational.
because porous limestone is the perfect base, foundation,
and punctual and sober and well-dressed, he's an Audi.
I can't... I've always wanted to meet him. I'm thrilled.
is designed to make you miserable.
Holy cow! That's unbelievable.
That's rubbish!
- Honestly, I'm exhausted. - I'm getting dizzy.
Scotland, with two cars that are credible, relevant,
I'm sure you may be amazed to hear
Irrelevant. That is not a $5,000 boat.
That's fine, you can say that, but not they're actually very sensible. All right.
And this car, I'm delighted to say, has a big one.
like a play area for the privileged.
You see, you can't be cruel about Alfa Romeos.
someone would put fried onions on the top
it would be useless as a car everywhere else in your life.