Name: The Cap Table
Released: 2017-03-06
Cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Josh Brener, Matt Ross

1) petabyte

Transfers half a petabyte of data every minute.
2) dipshit

Every dipshit who shits his pants if he can't get
3) dubstep

the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under 12 seconds?
4) chela

Use the anger, chela. Use it.
5) appendage

I mean, he's a completely useless appendage and we all know it.
6) congratulation

Well then, a gift of congratulation.
7) boner

The idea that I have a boner and you have a boner
8) camaraderie

Yes. The camaraderie is quite apparent.
9) formality

It's just a formality, to get me caught up.
10) billionaire

Yeah, that's why he's a billionaire. 'Cause he knows how and when to be an asshole.
11) capella

and singing a capella at Sarah Lawrence,
12) rollback

emergency database rollback, and faulty transaction handlings.
13) prick

not as good at being a prick as you, no offense.

1) decompile

Oh shit. They probably hacked the prototype and decompile the compression library...
2) apportion

What other percentages have you apportion?
3) embarrass

You really embarrass me in there.
4) puke

I know Gilfoyle probably came in here and puke out a bunch of tech specs,
5) starve

"You look like someone starve a virgin to death."
6) entice

No interest. I entice the flesh, I don't pay for it.
7) scare

Hey. Sorry if I scare you.
8) sail

That ship has sail but from here on out.
9) hack

Oh shit. They probably hack the prototype and decompiled the compression library...
10) shake

Who was this woman that you shook hands with for the first time?
11) rid

Well, there will be after Richard gets rid of Big Head.
12) quit

Jared Dunn quit today to join Pied Piper.
13) sue

They're gonna reverse-engineer a version as close as they can without getting sue.

1) goddamn

Goddamn. He's still not answering.
2) utterly

All I could think was, "He's utterly useless."
3) poorly

This is going very poorly.
4) kinda

I kinda suck.
5) wherever

Listen, wherever we end up here...
6) barely

Richard's a 10x-er, I'm, like, barely an x-er.
7) damn

- You damn right I do. - Put a hundred on there for yourself, Mocha.
8) suddenly

but now suddenly you're a hot chick,
9) basically

That's basically what I told him.
10) somewhere

I'd be on a beach somewhere with ten million dollars in my pocket.
11) somewhat

I know I have somewhat ghost-like features.
12) obviously

Obviously, you know, we can't go back on my shares.
13) apart

Dude, they're taking your code apart.

1) performant

And I write sleek performant low-overhead scala code
2) motherfucking

But if you'll excuse me, I have to go lock down a motherfucking business plan.
3) teutonic

A complete teutonic shift has to happen.
4) airtight

with an airtight business plan,
5) sexist

She said it was sexist. She's right. It's actually perverted.
6) assertive

I, uh, don't wanna be too assertive here
7) goddamn

I had to give her my bike. She's just like everyone else in this goddamn Valley.
8) germanic

is an ancient Germanic tribe that fought the Romans.
9) lossless

Oh, we're mostly working on a lossless compression algorithm.
10) tectonic

A "tectonic" shift is the earth's crust moving around.
11) postman

The postman lady.
12) norse

You're like a... Like a Norse hero from Valhalla.
13) shitty

to your shitty, little smart phone day after day?

Silicon Valley » Season 1 » The Cap Table