Name: Hooli-Con
Released: 2017-06-27
Cast: Thomas Middleditch, T.J. Miller, Josh Brener, Matt Ross

1) barmaid

Say hi to that barmaid for me.
2) whiff

Every time we've gotten a whiff of success,
3) snub

Hey, I have to go. Totally. Hey, did you snub me earlier?
4) motherfucker

Yeah? Okay. I'll get as many of those motherfucker as I can.
5) swag

All right, all of our swag is in the car,
6) habeas

I mean, Lincoln had to suspend habeas corpus to end the war,
7) crotch

Richard, these are real people with real crotch and--
8) gent

but, gent, it's as I was saying:
9) guerrilla

forced adoption through aggressive guerrilla marketing.
10) hallway

and I swear, if I hear you wandered down the hallway
11) orphan

Yeah. I just gave an orphan her first calculator.
12) boredom

You must be, like, dying of boredom.
13) insanity

Wasn't the original title of their chart-topping hit "Virtual Insanity"?
14) haze

♪ Milk hit my line, Phaze bring the haze ♪
15) pelican

a giant pelican by the name of Fate
16) vibe

Totally, I'm just really kind of digging the vibe over on this side.
17) grind

♪ Yeah, it's grind time ♪
18) pineapple

Fuck you, fat fuck. Pineapple two is a go.

1) agonize

you agonize over using a stolen log-in
2) snub

like, we snub him?
3) avert

And yeah, I lost my head, but crisis avert,
4) supervise

that's not supervise on Sundays.
5) wander

and I swear, if I hear you wander down the hallway
6) rig

So, I've got one Pineapple left. Now, I've rig some batteries on top of it,
7) swear

and I swear, if I hear you wandered down the hallway
8) justify

Richard, the fact that you think that success justifies all your behavior--
9) steal

you agonized over using a stolen log-in
10) hack

So, what if we somehow hack our code onto the app?
11) mess

Fine. I mess with Joel's screensaver, and then he told security,
12) reward

We'll be reward in the end.
13) blend

♪ I blend in like I'm from the ends ♪
14) destroy

Not if I destroy him first.
15) rat

and track down whoever rat me out.
16) restore

but he restore it after. Lincoln?
17) suppose

Son, you're suppose to be coming up from over there.
18) kick

You could've very easily kick a good man when he was down.

1) cruelly

so cruelly taken away from me... You burned it down yourself.
2) profoundly

of times where I've profoundly impacted your life.
3) knowingly

I cannot knowingly contribute to your moral decay.
4) barely

Barely, Jared.
5) somehow

So, what if we somehow hack our code onto the app?
6) personally

You cost me, personally, a shit-ton of money.
7) obviously

Obviously, I don't care to make a big deal out of it,
8) apparently

Because apparently everything I say or type
9) absolutely

Absolutely not.
10) exactly

Exactly. So, we show them a fake landing page,
11) earlier

Hey, I have to go. Totally. Hey, did you snub me earlier?
12) alone

that we've got from Hoolicon alone.
13) forward

and I look forward to a successful promotion
14) almost

One second. Almost done.
15) actually

I think this might actually work. Wrong!
16) kind

Totally, I'm just really kind of digging the vibe over on this side.
17) soon

people are just gonna delete the app as soon as the conference is over.
18) enough

I don't know. Close isn't good enough. No, this is binary.

1) friendless

disgraced, friendless, and engorged with the blood of a youthful charlatan.
2) veritable

A veritable who's who of nobodies.
3) pied

Have you heard anything about how Pied fucking Piper is doing?
4) bearded

Fucking bearded baby.
5) immoral

but he just kept excusing immoral behavior just like this,
6) illustrative

Petty? No, I was gonna say "illustrative of our vast differences."
7) reckless

- PoopFare! - You reckless child.
8) covert

as part of a covert penetration test of our Wi-Fi security?
9) awkward

Awkward. Why?
10) populated

and then you're gonna walk into the most densely populated area you can find.
11) suspicious

so I started watching them and noticed some suspicious behavior.
12) amazed

and prepare to be amazed!
13) petty

That whole spaces-tab thing was... Kind of petty?
14) disturbing

This is very disturbing.
15) profound

It doesn't have to be a profound impact. We're leaving now.
16) tactical

I sent in for our tactical response team,
17) fascinating

but it's not doing anything. Fascinating, Richard.
18) prominent

that we would have prominent placement

Silicon Valley » Season 4 » Hooli-Con