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01:01:05
Jeremy Clarkson, James May, Richard Hammond, Mike Skinner
64
The presenters begin with Christmas tree lights made from vehicle parts and, Starting with Scalextric, they exchange humorous and inappropriate Christmas gifts in Conversation Street. May travels to Majorca to race a Kia Stinger GT against a pair of longboard riders along a mountain road, with May winning the race despite him racing uphill and the riders downhill. Hammond and May attempt to relieve lunchtime boredom by inventing "lunchtime office car park racing" at Houghton Hall business park in the Luton/Dunstable Urban Area. After brief interviews in which both share their own ownership of a Tesla Model S, Hugh Bonneville, representing the UK, and Casey Anderson, representing the United States, compete during "Celebrity Face Off" as the "fastest person who lives with a bear", with Anderson winning by setting the faster lap time. Clarkson experiments with the jet set lifestyle, starting in the morning from the Da Vinci super-yacht moored in Saint-Tropez and then driving a Bugatti Chiron to L'Alpe De Venosc France for skiing at lunchtime, stopping briefly for a drag race against a BMW M4 at Gap–Tallard Airport to give viewers a perspective on how fast the Chiron is. After leaving the Alps, Clarkson then pays an homage to the 1976 film C'était un rendez-vous, by speeding across Turin and reaching the Piazza Carignano (it) in 9 minutes.
And more understeer, and there we are, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, that's not Vindaloo-hot, like a BMW M3.
...Storage King's Darren banged in a scorcher of a qualifier.
is the whoosh of the turbo-charging system.
where they rip your fingernail out if you break the speed limit,
he'd still be sitting at the heliport in Saint-Tropez, saying,
a mid-engine supercar would be divine.
A challenging five-kilometre scribble of Tarmac,
Going to make his way towards Froughton Haulage,
through the crucible of motorsport.
OK, James. The boarder did it in five minutes and 16 seconds.
and enough grunt to make kilometres feel like inches.
and enough grunt to make kilometre feel like inches.
"Each entrant from each firm does one timed lap.
had turned off the motorway and into the foothill of the Alps.
I would hate to have been having a fag in that booth when they came past.
from the wreckage of the car that you destroyed, with your incompetence,
Well, it means the paramedic won't have to cut your clothes off you.
I made it to the outskirts of Turin with 11 minutes to go.
I have an eight-speed, semi-automatic gearbox,
This is on your bedside table.
♪ Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the... ♪
in the bog at a motorway service station.
It's my nemesis coming up right here.
Despite being at the wheel of a motorway cruiser,
Call the waiter over. "Come here, my man. Ahem.
And you get a spare saucer, in case you break one.
That was the brilliance of Concorde.
Now, there's a speed hump, and then the soon-to-be immortalise
What do you think of that? Why are you grimacing?
Because you always overdo it.
The cross is what he was crucified on. That's Easter.
As the regional manager scorch away,
The car had barely been invent - that's what it is.
Yeah, that's the bit where your lungs were infect.
When I haul Brutus around, I have a big Dodge 3500.
The Chiron accelerate from 0 to 186 miles an hour
Eventually, though, I emerge
and I'm scream, "Get back, Brutus! Get back, Brutus!"
You bought your girlfriend a Ferrari that only you were insure to drive.
This is the little keyless fob that locks and unlock it,
What I intend to do is start down there and drive as fast as possible
-Is it? -That has been retrieve
No, the Chiron, it tackle mountain roads
I dare't watch. This is tight.
So, to find out if they've succeed, we need to do something sporty.
Traction & Stability Control disable. That's all the nannies off.
and that survive the fire.
but I fancy a bit of skiing.
It's a bit bright, I admit, but...
from the wreckage of the car that you destroy, with your incompetence,
I suspect more...
So... OK, it's now shut, yes?
Soon, Giovanni arrive at the boat with my car.
you were suppose to go and drive the Kia hatchback,
It is bright. You've burn people's eyes out.
I'm pathologically punctual.
That's unbelievably selfish. You should have done, really.
and drive uphill all the way to here, which is the finish line,
Yes, thankfully!
and you're downhill all the way.
Cos he's deliberately avoided the immigration authorities.
-Surprise your fridge? -You walk up to it backwards
It was right at the edge of what was technically possible, but it felt normal.
I climbed aboard and set off.
And back on the Tarmac, where it's very slippery, but you've held that nicely.
He's binned it at Bin Corner, appropriately enough.
is specially modified skateboards,
The car had barely been invented - that's what it is.
Yeah. Knock yourself out. Not literally.
But meanwhile, I'd already placed an order for a second-hand Tesla.
-Did you say that out loud? -Yeah, he did.
Virtually in reverse.
You would potentially face prosecution under Section 25,
Cos the rule is, basically: don't crash.
There's a point where we cross over, obviously, so be careful.
-Yeah, definitely. -Because it very much has been a British
And so, apart from getting stuck in the fridge...
and then, "Carefully perfected on 10th June 2017
Eventually, though, I emerged
I've got you a properly brilliant present.
This is the Whitbread, extremely tight left-hander, and into Car Park A.
Slow down... Blam! Oh, my God! Wham!
Very tidy indeed. Keeping it smooth.
and then, "Carefully perfected on 10th June 2017
the furth you could ever travel in one day
Why do you always think I'll have overdone it?
But it's not delicate or deft or dainty.
-That's a fact. -That is pretentious twaddle.
And as for that bearded baboon in the middle,
Because it is. I'm not saying it's cumbersome.
You're frightened to death. Actually, that's not too bad. And onto the difficult bit.
Vigorous, little two-litre engine.
and nothing else festive at all...
But never mind the not unreasonable price.
The Professor of Sweeping Statements!
-There are three-- -How evangelical!
I'm amazed that was big enough for you, with your big pick-ups.
My wife said, "Don't be ridiculous.
for assisting unlawful immigration to a member state.
Kia's first attempt to make a saloon car that's sporty, rather than sensible.
But it's not delicate or deft or dainty.
Right, I'm just setting it now. Now, pretend to be asleep.
It's actually relaxing.
-It was awful. -He bought us nothing.
I can see why you were disappointed, Hammond.
adaptive cruise control,
and then all of a sudden, he's ripping the couch up and eating the cushions,
It is remarkable that, in this day and age,
"I'm getting rid of the convertible and getting an electric car."
James, I am very curious.
topless swimsuits.