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00:28:01
Abbi Jacobson, Eric André, Nat Faxon
633
Enough rigmarole. Bring in the blushing groom.
Shut your snout, you dumb pigs, or I'm gonna... Oh, wait.
to regrow his Lordship's once-lavish hair.
Chowder? It doesn't always have to be nautical references with me.
Candlestick in the conservatory? Candlestick in the face?
I'm an optimist. I say the flask is half-full.
Oh, yeah? My knuckle'll make an alliance with your pig-fathering face!
On the forearm, for whatever reason?
Leaving when the ogre looked away was an excellent strategy.
I've never felt such vigor.
If this flask isn't filled with elf blood by morning,
First of all, sweetie, shut up.
No! You're not a murderer, Bean! Well, I mean, you did kill that one guy.
They call it a party barge,
I shall apply a small measure to the scalp
Now we hope Merkimer's a big enough idiot to fall for this mermaid plan.
It's a ship of war, flying the dread flag of the Borcs!
I'm feeling a tad nervous, my tiny friend.
Oh. How my Charlie sparkled this morning when they heave him into the burial pit.
For there lurk the twin shores of Mermaid Island and Walrus Island.
But, ho! Some hair has sprout in his ear.
Everyone line up single file to get lash to the masts.
[chuckles] Something tickle. Is there a mosquito on my leg?
Speaking of things getting poke, we've got a wedding to plan.
You rig it so he'll break free and leap overboard, rig?
That's why I insist you have a bachelor party.
What if I rub a sick chicken all over his face and hope for the best?
Haha! Here it is. Legend has it that elf blood contains
Perhaps it could perk up my poor, tucker dong.
That time I stole a baby walrus. You guys were there.
Me smell fear.
Didn't you always want a husband that screw 30 walruses?
Behold, sire, as I extract a small quantity of blood.
First of all, sweetie, shut up.
The Bozak wedding delegation never arrive.
Yes, well, I suppose the life-giving magic may take a while.
God forbid you lose control and jump overboard.
No wonder all those presents have been washing ashore.
So drink responsibly!
The essence is that there is enormously potent magic in elves' blood.
I know it really, really intensely,
Not one mention of your fuzzy muzzles. Climb aboard.
Those mermaids worked me over pretty hard, sexually.
Somehow, I don't think my portrait's gonna be nearly as happy.
-[crowd clamoring] -[Zog] And furthermore!
But yes, definitely.
The barge is falling apart!
You just want your stupid Elixir of Life so you can be immortal and rule forever.
as long as everyone remains absolutely silent.
Somehow, I don't think my portrait's gonna be nearly as happy.
Perhaps if I had more to work with...
Might we finally create the Elixir of Life?
And we only lost one man. That's actually not bad.
I'm so glad you're coming along, Bean.
No! Your cruddy life is worth living, Bean.
All aboard the party barge! I hope you like fun and soggy pretzels.
No, it was me with my incessant do it, do it, do it, do its.
We be sailing now into treacherous waters.
Don't panic. We can slip away unnoticed
But these new tests shall reveal its restorative powers.
All hands, brace fer mermaids! And their irresistible song.
I don't mean to be insensitive about your dead whatever.
This whole cursed wedding is canceled.
Excellent. I've asked the eminent Lord Lingonberry
You just want your stupid Elixir of Life so you can be immortal and rule forever.
Intriguing. But don't mermaids use their mesmo-songs
The essence is that there is enormously potent magic in elves' blood.
I'm feeling optimistic.
Dear God, you've mangled my exquisite face!
A delicate flower like yourself has no place aboard--
God, you're selfish and cruel.
Clearly, the volume of blood was inadequate.