Name: Return of the Shirt
Released: 2017-08-19
Cast: Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders

1) crawfish

my mom throws these huge crawfish boils,
2) newscast

I just wrapped up a live newscast by honking my own boobs.
3) misfortune

Other people's misfortune. You missed something so amazing.
4) fluff

You do the little fluff pieces at the end of the news.
5) stairway

It's the Stairway to Heaven of break-up lines.
6) steakhouse

"So, Coach Dave Shula, screw you and your crappy steakhouse."
7) guerrilla

It's a form of guerrilla street-fighting developed by the Israeli army,
8) beep

Beep. Dumped. Click. Done.
9) bourbon

Whose bourbon is this?
10) dresser

The tea candles on her dresser,
11) touchdown

"and your 27 touchdown will not be forgotten.
12) sack

You just didn't have the sack to face those tears.
13) bro

- Hot top, bro. Is it new? - That's the crazy part.
14) superstar

New York loves you. You're a superstar. Bye-bye.
15) caffeine

Maybe it was the caffeine,
16) thrill

What baby really likes is the thrill of pulling one over
17) sock

The sock monkey collection on her bed,
18) idiot

Look, look, I was an idiot, leaving that message.

1) terrify

Look, Natalie, I was just a stupid kid back then, terrified of commitment.
2) bleed

I'm bleed internally.
3) beg

tracked me down, beg me to go out with you again,
4) swear

I could have sworn I hated bourbon.
5) owe

Genius. That's one I owe you.
6) deserve

- Well, I think Natalie deserve better. - Better.
7) dump

You dump a porn star?
8) suppose

An occasion that was suppose to be joyous suddenly turned tragic
9) realize

That's when Robin realize
10) throw

my mom throw these huge crawfish boils,
11) suck

- I realize how much that suck. - No, you don't.
12) replace

And, just like that, all those wonderful memories were replace
13) lose

I'm losing interest in your story.
14) explain

No, no, no, no, ineffable. "Ineffable" means it can't be explain.
15) forget

"and your 27 touchdowns will not be forgotten.
16) ride

Mickey Mantle rode in my cab for the fourth time,
17) spend

I spent 27 years making up my mind about things, right?
18) happen

OLDER TED; Because none of this would have happen

1) internally

I'm bleeding internally.
2) personally

Personally, I'd rather hear the bad news on an answering machine
3) absolutely

You must think I have absolutely no self-respect.
4) truly

OLDER TED; And, right then, Aunt Robin realized how important her job truly was,
5) exactly

Not exactly the point I was trying to make, Marshall.
6) alone

Why couldn't you leave that poor girl alone?
7) flat

you just end up flat on your back, flailing around in a big pile of horse crap.
8) sometimes

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to do the right thing,
9) finally

You're finally gonna watch Goonies again.
10) super

I'm just, like, super busy right now,
11) actually

when, in fact, she, like this shirt, is actually a perfect fit?
12) kind

Hey, is it cold in here? 'Cause I can kind of see Robin's nickels.
13) later

only so you could dump me three weeks later,
14) far

It seemed like happily-ever-after wasn't far off,
15) together

Look at those colors. Green and brown, together at last.
16) else

- I'm gonna make this right. - You know what else?
17) ago

happy birthday, three years ago.
18) ever

Hold up. There are only two reasons to ever date a girl you've already dated.

1) ineffable

- It's ineffable. - I'm not F-able?
2) childish

Okay, it was childish and stupid. I just... I didn't want to see her cry.
3) tragic

An occasion that was supposed to be joyous suddenly turned tragic
4) fond

Natalie, I had so many fond memories of her,
5) awful

There's no "better" in breaking up. There's only less awful.
6) delicious

Today, a delicious hot dog will cost you $2.50,
7) desperate

Desperate, please-don't-leave-me sex is amazing.
8) broke

Back when I lived in LA, I was pretty broke,
9) israeli

It's a form of guerrilla street-fighting developed by the Israeli army,
10) stupid

Barney's offered me 50 bucks to say some stupid word on a live news report.
11) okay

No, it's okay. I wasn't telling anyone about it.
12) mad

Okay, okay. Look, look, look, I know you're mad, but
13) exciting

In your past 60 years on the job, what is your most exciting memory?
14) proud

Oh, well, you did the right thing. I'm proud of you.
15) fantastic

Fantastic!
16) amazing

Desperate, please-don't-leave-me sex is amazing.
17) difficult

Okay, this is difficult to say.
18) helpful

They have some helpful columns.

How I Met Your Mother » Season 1 » Return of the Shirt