Name: For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls
Released: 2018-03-12
Cast: Seth MacFarlane

1) turd

I wanna shoot that fat turd in the belly!
2) boner

Is it weird to have a boner?
3) testicle

I'd like to see that fat testicle-tickler come down my chimney.
4) swig

Now take you a full swig and we'll get started.
5) tingle

heady tingle that I require.
6) raccoon

You did it! You kissed the raccoon!
7) deliverance

Nothing. Deliverance joke.
8) moron

He's trying to kill us, you moron! You gave away our hiding spot!
9) reindeer

right after me and this here reindeer make sweet, tender love.
10) bourbon

Well, normally people put bourbon in their eggnog.
11) sucker

[ Groans ] This sucker tried to turn into liquid energy on me,
12) salute

♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪
13) cracker

you wise old cracker!
14) fingerprint

check the guy's fingerprint on my C.I.A. computer,
15) kindness

Jeff, please leave my family alone forever! Will you do me that kindness?
16) cane

Francine, give Hayley your candy cane.
17) elf

What do we do? If that elf is right,
18) flute

He could play the skin flute. [ Laughs ]

1) swear

B-But, Dad, I swore I'd never touch another gun as long as I live.
2) inspect

First, you inspect it to make sure it's clean.
3) smell

like letting homeless people smell our napkins...
4) mess

Does your family always have such mess-up Christmases?
5) grab

Then you grab it on the butt and jam the magazine in. If it doesn't fit, make it.
6) suppose

What the hell am I suppose to do with it?
7) shoot

[ Gasps ] Almost shot my eye out!
8) tend

You guys hold them off! I'll tend to Mr. S. in the cockpit.
9) promise

I promise I won't get Steve a gun for Christmas.
10) teach

how to make this here whiskey the way my pappy taught me.
11) lock

Francine, you and Hayley lock the door behind us and shoot from the windows.
12) suck

Here. Just suck it till it's pointy.
13) ram

but when we look at him, all we see is him getting ram in the woods.
14) seek

And I seek a blind moonshiner with four arms...
15) happen

- I got one too! - Did someone blab about what happen in the woods?
16) guess

But I guess if coked-out child soldiers in the Congo can do it.
17) rise

before the sun rise on Christmas Day!
18) fix

And I will let you drive my Camaro when I fix the God-dang drive shaft!

1) damn

[ Santa ] You're damn right, you jerk!
2) somewhere

Gotta be around here somewhere.
3) personally

Personally, I think you're an ass.
4) forever

Jeff, please leave my family alone forever! Will you do me that kindness?
5) eventually

Oh, honey! He'll come around eventually.
6) normally

Well, normally people put bourbon in their eggnog.
7) forth

Go forth and brew my ancient elixir with these sacred jugs.
8) neither

Won't hear when I make ya squeal like a pig neither. What?
9) alone

Jeff, please leave my family alone forever! Will you do me that kindness?
10) deep

Now we're just gonna bury that body deep in the woods and never talk about it again.
11) forward

[ Country Accent ] I look forward to the day we meet again,
12) quite

And it appears you can see me quite well.
13) almost

[ Gasps ] Almost shot my eye out!
14) super

He's doesn't know anything! He's super dumb, Hayley!
15) outside

All right, Steve and I will go outside with Bob Todd.
16) actually

Actually, it does, Dad. And you need to accept that.
17) later

About a second later that would have been the other way around.
18) else

A gun? Can't you bond over something else?

1) unorthodox

I am unorthodox.
2) numb

[ Roger, Country Accent ] Make that five, numb-nuts.
3) sane

And if you're sane, you'll never believe a word of this story.
4) dumb

You're a golden dumb-ass!
5) intimate

Steve, shooting a gun is like being intimate with a woman.
6) polar

I'm asking for an authentic polar bear helmet...
7) sacred

Go forth and brew my ancient elixir with these sacred jugs.
8) excited

Dad, be nice to Jeff. He's just excited about Christmas.
9) authentic

I'm asking for an authentic polar bear helmet...
10) drunk

I'm telling you, I can't get drunk!
11) seasonal

Excuse me. Do you have seasonal beers?
12) damn

a damn thing for Christmas.
13) weird

Is it weird to have a boner?
14) attractive

You look amazing, Francine! You're so attractive!
15) unusual

Just know that my methods are unusual.
16) emotional

The emotional burden I've felt ever since--
17) tend

right after me and this here reindeer make sweet, tend love.
18) grown

He's a grown man and he still believes in Santa Claus.

American Dad! » Season 6 » For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls