New here? Create a new Account
Move to the previous cue
Move to the next cue
Increase size of captions
Decrease size of captions
Translate current cue
00:22:02
Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders
779
I would bet you a floppity jillion dollars that she's not calling to break up with you.
So we find this choice nudie nest near the airport...
Fiancee's out of town. What do you do? Go.
Ding dong! What? The doorbell?
It was written by an anthropologist named Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez,
...and that is when the bouncer kicked us out.
Marshall, I should feel tremor of psychitude rock my body like a seizure.
some H&H bagel, an Empire State Building keychain...
Now, I suppose you could learn to love yourself for the unique little snowflake that you are,
Dope. I'm going to rock you on the mike so hard your hears are going to bleed gravy.
...and if economic sanction and trade restrictions aren't enforced,
Oh, hello, Jessica Alba in a trench coat and nothing else.
Yeah, hell, yeah. I got 'em all: Teamwork, Courage, Awesomeness...
Oh... Does she cut the crust off your sandwich, too?
Marshall, I should feel tremors of psychitude rock my body like a seizure.
Here's your sack lunch.
So dude, check it. I'm in San Diego with two of my bro-sephs from Kappa,
- What? - They're jerk!
I'm portraying someone who succumb to peer pressure.
P.S. If you've unfold this note, your kiss already got out. Quick-- catch it."
I'm beg you just, just leave it at the office.
What makes them jerk?
...and if economic sanctions and trade restrictions aren't enforce,
Lily, you're the most incredible woman I know, and you deserve a big package.
and two, you laugh every time you say the word "sack".
We're still engage, even if she's...
I quit.
We struggle so hard to hold onto these things
Now, I suppose you could learn to love yourself for the unique little snowflake that you are,
And then you slip it to the guy with a discreet handshake and he'll get it done.
...and that is when the bouncer kick us out.
but then I realize it's just like Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vasquez in Life Among the Gorillas.
- All right. I'm pour it out. - Okay, one cup.
Great. I bet they're delicious, too.
You suit in an unmistakably upward direction.
This long-distance thing suck, huh?
You suited in an unmistakably upward direction.
Besides, if I go out, who's going to watch the news? I'm, like, half your viewership.
Eventually you just run out of stuff to say.
What could she possibly have to say to me that she couldn't write in an e-mail?
I'd been in a long-distance relationship with Victoria for nearly a month.
Hey, so, now that I'm working here, are you finally going to tell me exactly what your job is?
Little did I realize, a few weeks earlier,
Barney, how do I get these idiots to leave me alone?
Hey, so, now that I'm working here, are you finally going to tell me exactly what your job is?
Anyway, it's almost 11:00. I should let you go.
Okay, Eriksen, let's get to work. It's 2:00 a.m. It's raining outside.
but they're actually good guys, and if you got to know them, then you would see that.
Your package has always been big enough.
Oh, steak sauce! For true, though.
How many is that so far?
Put together a care package of stuff from New York--
I'm usually so good at being a boyfriend, but this never-seeing-each-other thing, it's a bitch.
Oh, hello, Jessica Alba in a trench coat and nothing else.
I'm flattered you think we have two viewers.
It's not like: Listen, I've been thinking, Nutter-Butters are an underrated cookie.
Not necessarily. Okay, at first, I was appalled,
It's an anthropological study. Isn't that cool?
Now it's ironic, the girl I used to like is helping me impress the girl I now like.
Honey, if I get restless
Whoa. That is a butt-load of motivational posters.
Come karaoke with us tonight, and you'll see how totally not that lame they are, okay?
And then you slip it to the guy with a discreet handshake and he'll get it done.
You're right. They're delightful.
Hey, it's Ted. I guess you're asleep.
Change your personality? That is so awful, and not at all motivational.
Altrucel was most well-known for making the yellow fuzzy stuff on the surface of tennis balls.
And... I said something dumb.
Great. I bet they're delicious, too.
Now, I have no idea if Svetlana ever got her green card, but dudes, fake diamond ring?
That's brilliant.
- Only when I'm drunk. - Good boy.