New here? Create a new Account
Move to the previous cue
Move to the next cue
Increase size of captions
Decrease size of captions
Translate current cue
00:22:30
Seth MacFarlan, Alex Borstein, Seth Green
56
Order the souffl? now, cos it takes 10 to 15 years.
- You know what a merkin is? - No.
but first, decathlon frontrunner Joe Swanson will attempt the long jump.
There are the paraplegic,
I lost the perp!
- Ha, ha! Tough luck, wheelie! - Yeah. For you.
The decathlon. That's quite a mountain to climb, Peter.
You think you're so hot, fella? Well, I can do this.
- Gave him a cauliflower ear. - Bully!
He wore a Jimmy Carter mask, like the robber in that Keanu Reeves movie.
Mr Griffin, you can't expect me to believe this. That was clearly a scarecrow in your clothes.
What the deuce?
Cool it. I am not gonna put up with this racket for two weeks.
I'm Joe, your waiter. Today's special is justice, served cold with a side of jail.
Ho-ho. You're smarter than I thought. Give yourselves a round of applause.
- Hi, Mom! - Hi, sweetheart.
You mean steroid? Peter, haven't you seen what happens to those ladies on ESPN2?
- But first, Peter, look out for that skateboard. - Agh!
Ironically, I sever his spine when I landed on him.
- Come on! - And when I freeze-frame,
For God's sake, I just had the damn thing renew.
Did he quit after gettin' arrest for drunk and disorderly conduct at a football game? No.
Oh, God! I pray this is not my first memory.
I've made up my mind about this. I'm quit the force.
It sure is. Today we'll see some of our finest athletes struggle valiantly
- OK. - I suppose we can trust you.
- You could be a desk. - Forget it. I'm wash up.
bike-ri... jump ro... go lay on the grass?
Peter, I really appreciate what you did for me.
Gee, Peter, this water taste kinda funny.
Yes. You suck. I rule.
- All right, Joe! - But I lost the perp.
Very clever. Take another reach. You forgot your change.
- Joe, what happen? - I got the money.
Yeah, I guess.
He wore a Jimmy Carter mask, like the robber in that Keanu Reeves movie.
It sure is. Today we'll see some of our finest athletes struggle valiantly
Ironically, I severed his spine when I landed on him.
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us
It was one cereal ad, Peter. Besides, he won the medal.
You weren't planning on going somewhere with our $26, were you?
You're obviously taking us for saps, but we're not.
- Where exactly did the angel touch you? - Here.
Finally we go to Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa for 60 seconds of filler.
Um... I don't quite know how to tell you this, Mr Swanson.
- You're gonna be late. - Maybe they're not there.
In local news, Quahog will soon play proud host to the Special People's Games.
Don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal.
- He's getting away! - Don't worry. He won't get far.
Oh, no! A car going too fast to stop in time! Aieee!
I don't understand why he did that without me. We were gonna do everything together.
That's it. There's someone else he didn't thank.
Peter, the other day was the first time I've ever lost a perp.
It sure is. Today we'll see some of our finest athletes struggle valiantly
We'll go to bulimic pie-eating in a moment,
Your acerbic anti-white humour was a constant inspiration. Thank you, sir.
"He couldn't go to the bathroom by himself any more, but his indomitable spirit... "
You're not gonna get the $26, and you're despicable for trying.
Did he quit after gettin' arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at a football game? No.
He's probably waitin' to be interviewed by Dan Rather or that dreadful Gene Shalit.
- That's OK, Joe. You can still win this thing. - That was pathetic.
I even got the first piece you're gonna run. Exclusive footage of my tragic accident.
Peter, Bonnie says Joe's really depressed about that robbery.
brought down by a cruel twist of fate.
He's handicapped. That makes his story inspirational.
No matter how neat I want the house, you clean it.
Still no sign of the deaf team.
against God's twisted designs. You'll cheer, you'll cry. You might get a cheap laugh.
I thought we were just having an innocent conversation about literature.
Did he quit after gettin' arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct at a football game? No.
I'll hold on to the money. I'm a neutral party, so it'll be safe.
For God's sake, I just had the damn thing renewed.