Name: Free Hat
Released: 2016-09-30
Cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes

1) dib

Because I'm the official spokesman! I got dib on it.
2) brat

- I'm not a Jew! - You little brat! I mean...
3) mein

The one with the cocaine problem escaped, mein director!
4) murderer

the convicted, confessed serial murderer of 23 babies?
5) saucer

The flying saucer? No longer cheap construction paper
6) sucker

Sorry, sucker!
7) temper

Or is it freshen his hot temper with a cool island song?
8) neighbour

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour" ♪
9) lizard

we always meant to have imperial walkers and giant dewback lizard
10) temptation

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
11) persistence

Your persistence surprises even me.
12) jew

- I'm not a Jew! - You little brats! I mean...
13) judgement

You haven't let these doe-eyed children affect your judgement,
14) enthusiasm

- to see such enthusiasm for our cause. - Yeah!
15) prisoner

Now, take the children prisoner!
16) spokesman

Because I'm the official spokesman! I got dibs on it.
17) pursuit

All your life has been the pursuit of seeing a great film.
18) toddler

What do you see as positive about toddler murder?

1) modernise

all the updated effects and modernise technology!
2) freshen

Or is it freshen his hot temper with a cool island song?
3) redo

E. T: The Extra-Terrestrial! The new, redo version for 2002!
4) spout

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ People spout, "Howdy, neighbour" ♪
5) motivate

Yeah, these guys are only motivate by money, Ted.
6) asshole

You asshole!
7) owe

Today is a day of celebration! And we owe it all
8) intend

now intend to update and change Raiders of the Lost Ark.
9) mess

from their directors, so they can't be mess with.
10) grab

before I grab your nutsack and twist it!
11) refuse

And if we refuse?
12) admit

Well? Hat McCullogh admit he killed those toddlers.
13) preserve

We believe that films are pieces of art that must be preserve
14) belong

When an artist creates, whatever they create belong to society.
15) harm

from being harm. Mr. Secretary?
16) suppose

That's too much pressure! Look, I'm suppose to take it easy.
17) surprise

Your persistence surprise even me.
18) escape

The one with the cocaine problem escape, mein director!

1) digitally

All the E.T. effects have been digitally upgraded, all the guns
2) somewhere

to Raiders of The Lost Ark is currently somewhere in George Lucas' house.
3) apparently

Okay, apparently, there's been a bit of a misunderstanding.
4) definitely

- He's definitely lost it. - Yup.
5) unfortunately

Unfortunately, we don't have enough of the free hats for everyone.
6) possibly

- But you better not screw it up! - What could possibly go wrong?
7) nearly

A thousand? Oh, Jesus, man! I don't have nearly a thousand hats!
8) alone

Why don't they leave those movies alone?
9) perhaps

Perhaps you are right.
10) sometimes

Yeah, well, sometimes the things we do don't matter right now.
11) finally

And now with new technology we can finally
12) especially

Especially given your pro-toddler murder status?
13) super

The simple, funny aliens are now super bad-ass and cool!
14) kind

People aren't that into you, Tweek. They find you kind of annoying.
15) soon

as soon as we get Hat free!
16) later

Sometimes they matter later.
17) quick

Get this special enhanced version quick because another enhanced version
18) currently

to Raiders of The Lost Ark is currently somewhere in George Lucas' house.

1) unprovoked

Hat was attacked maliciously and unprovoked by a gang of babies
2) hellish

Then we're gonna end up freezing his hellish heart with a cool island song.
3) perverse

from the perverse hands of their ageing filmmakers.
4) standardised

as it is replaced by newer and more standardised animation!
5) stressful

What's stressful about that?
6) thankful

I'm so thankful for all your support... Rape the virgin!
7) ageing

from the perverse hands of their ageing filmmakers.
8) asshole

It isn't fair for those asshole directors to keep changing
9) insane

- because they're insane. - Well, I'm glad you said that, boys,
10) awful

- This version is awful! - Yeah! They ruined it!
11) brave

to these four brave young boys.
12) fabulous

You're not offering any fabulous prizes! You have to offer fabulous prizes
13) innocent

Thank you, everyone. Kill! Kill the innocent.
14) brilliant

- Wait a minute, what did you say? - That's brilliant!
15) rough

Yes, the classic, rough, hand-made first episode is getting a makeover for 2002!
16) stupid

if you want people to show up for your stupid crap. Here.
17) okay

- They're gonna kick your ass, Tweek! - Tweek, it's okay!
18) expensive

- sharp, clean and focused. - And expensive.

South Park » Season 6 » Free Hat