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00:21:55
Seth MacFarlane
54
to share a doobie with the busboy in exchange for an angry "Handy J."
Uh, there was supposed to be a calzone with this.
unlike that catchphrase I tried to start: "Nuh-uh to your uh-huh."
But you're skinhead. You hate Jews. What? No.
It's the only one that doesn't have a swastika or a boner carved in it.
The accuser will state his case.
It's the only one that doesn't have a swastika or a boner carved in it.
But don't worry. Snot will have a role to play before this is over.
Because it's still on vibrate from the movies last night.
The presents were just a clever ruse. He was after the money the whole time.
and watched every heist movie from The Apple Dumpling Gang to Ocean's Twelve.
You missed some off-the-hizzi atonement. You were busy?
Does the defense have a rebuttal?
We'll get your foreskin cut off all right. What?
And, Debbie, a super shalom to you.
It has a two-gig fart library that analyzes your laughter...
Hey, Snot. You know Etan, my bar mitzvah study buddy.
I demand his expulsion from this temple...
I overhear a boy saying he was gonna steal your gifts.
It's the only one that doesn't have a swastika or a boner carve in it.
How great is this thing? It throws fart up to a hundred yards.
Yeah, I may have gasp too soon. I know I gasp too soon.
and devise the perfect plan to rob Etan Cohen's bar mitzvah.
where he invent a kosher lubricant that tastes like whitefish salad but--
When the Nazis annexed Alsace-Lorraine in 1940, Ernest fled to Mykonos,
For God's sakes, I'm assembling my own crew.
We ended up at an abandon warehouse where some thugs took my wallet,
Now, Roger, you'll be posing as a waiter.
You'll never be bar mitzvahed-- doom to walk the earth for the rest of your days...
Your old boyfriend stole my bar mitzvah money. What?
the beit din has to be convinced he deserve another chance.
All because you refuse to do the heist my way.
When the Nazis annex Alsace-Lorraine in 1940, Ernest fled to Mykonos,
Francine, you know I only laugh at Two and a Half Men. [ Laughs ]
Uh, there was suppose to be a calzone with this.
And who shot Gianni Versace? Was it a Jew? I don't know. It was in Miami.
and written sentiments that have no monetary worth but are emotionally valuable.
Oh, that's for me. But... let's hang out sometime.
Snot, you are hereby banished from this temple...
Unfortunately, I wouldn't know how to begin to get ahold of them.
If I was gonna steal my gifts, how could I possibly do it?
If that is the case, young man, then Snot may indeed have his bar mitzvah ceremony.
Perhaps you'll enjoy-- [ Short Fart ]
That's right. I'm almost at the bottom, so I gotta get off, okay? I gotta keep goin'.
Actually, I've sort of moved away from traditional religion.
Yeah, I may have gasped too soon. I know I gasped too soon.
But I'll catch you later, nerds. [ Laughs ]
Actually, I've sort of moved away from traditional religion.
I just get paid the most by far, but you all make it work.
My plan is actually working. I think she might want to get back together.
And I'll sneak the money off Snot before he ever knows.
And once Debbie sees him freak out over losin' his precious gifts,
Damn it! I'll never find my phone.
I kno-- Okay, I love you too. I have to go. Bye, Bubbe Judy.
What Snot did was unforgivable, but Etan's behavior proved he's not a man at all.
And, Debbie, a supe shalom to you.
Jewish history is a history of unethical conduct.
devising a formidable code of ethics.
I'm doomed! [ Sobs Loudly ]
or should I say, "Needless Markup." [ Laughs ]
Just so you're not shocked when you open it,
I'll be blunt. I'm comin' on to you, Deborah. It's true. This is what's happening.
Yours really is a rich and fascinating tradition which we despise.
and written sentiments that have no monetary worth but are emotionally valuable.
Wow. He's rented out the fanciest ballroom in town.
Etan took what was precious to me, so now I'm gonna take what's precious to him.
[ Gasps ] I'm not surprised.
Your Honors, our noble tribe has spent millennia...
A man doesn't get sad, Steve. A man gets-- Even!
and the world's most flexible contortionist.
I didn't know you were so spiritual, Etan.
Oh. So then might I suggest you check out the Jewish mystical tradition of Kabbalah?