Name: Frank the Father
Released: 2018-12-16
Cast: Laura Dern, Justin Long, Bill Burr

1) fag

I always knew you were a fag all along.
2) decency

But if he does, he should have the decency to go out in a hail of bullets
3) forearm

Hey! Open that gutter mouth again, and I'll close it with my forearm!
4) booze

My dad broke a table, breathed a bunch of booze on me,
5) fucker

Because I have to find out why that devious fucker
6) murderer

Oh! So either you or an axe murderer?
7) nurture

Sue, so help me God, if you say "nurture" one more time,
8) gutter

Hey! Open that gutter mouth again, and I'll close it with my forearm!
9) blouse

You know, with the long hair, the blouse, and the hysterical crying.
10) rascal

Yeah, I loved that little rascal with all my heart.
11) choke

courtesy of Laugh 'n' Choke Toys
12) dope

I know. It was effortless, you fucking dope!
13) bum

-All right, it's the bum's rush for you! -[screaming]
14) coward

Suck my tongue, you fucking coward.
15) tummy

And raise your hands up high to clap so your tummy doesn't get blocked.
16) dime

which according to my doctor, is burning dime-sized holes in my stomach.
17) carton

I treated him like a carton of eggs, Sue.
18) thigh

said he didn't want me spreading my thigh

1) diagonally

Diagonally?
2) afterwards

Afterwards, he refused to give me a ride home
3) definitely

Definitely a C-section.
4) forever

Maureen, even though I'll be gone forever, you still can't have my room.
5) truly

That dog was, uh, the last time I truly cared about anything ever again.
6) alone

You and me, we're both alone.
7) sometimes

Though sometimes it feels like you're working me.
8) instead

but I poison my husband instead.
9) almost

You again. Which kid did you almost kill this time?
10) actually

And my dad said he was actually going to take off work to come and see me.
11) kind

that you think maybe you really kind of like,
12) soon

I'll see you soon, buddy.
13) along

I always knew you were a fag all along.
14) enough

till I was at least old enough to wait tables.
15) later

We'll talk about this later, young man.
16) together

Together. As lovers.
17) ever

[sighs] Dad... did you ever meet someone, um...
18) least

till I was at least old enough to wait tables.

1) smug

You listen to me, Chet, you smug son of a bitch.
2) bloated

You, you fucking bloated booze bag!
3) effortless

I know. It was effortless, you fucking dope!
4) devious

Because I have to find out why that devious fucker
5) sore

Now, nobody likes a sore loser.
6) ninth

[Kevin] On my ninth birthday you took me to the beach and you left me there!
7) dumb

You're not afraid of my big dumb dad, are you?
8) deaf

Maybe he'll get adopted by a nice deaf couple
9) vietnamese

She's Vietnamese.
10) gentle

In a gentle and nurturing way that takes into consider--
11) excited

So I was excited.
12) silent

My mother, as always, was silent.
13) romantic

Yeah, to the most romantic place on Earth.
14) stupid

Well, that was before my stupid brother told my dad we were dating.
15) okay

It's okay. I've got this.
16) absolute

Can't I have one kid who isn't an absolute fucking disappointment?
17) fifth

I was in the fifth grade play.
18) proud

I hope you're proud of yourself.

F Is for Family » Season 3 » Frank the Father