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00:23:41
Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes
252
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman visit the Booktastic Bus, a mobile library. They are initially intrigued, but become uninterested in reading after meeting the strange driver. Word spreads that a pervert is molesting chickens in town. When Officer Barbrady starts the investigation, he is confronted with his illiteracy. He resigns in shame and anarchy immediately breaks out. Later, he is put into the boys' class to learn to read.
Barbrady recruits the boys to help him with his task, showing his knowledge of the police code. From then on, Cartman patrols the town on his Big Wheel, enforcing his own brand of justice. The molester is finally caught in the petting zoo and turns out to be the bookmobile driver. He plotted this all along to encourage Barbrady to learn to read. After being given a copy of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, Barbrady kills the man with a club to the head to teach Cartman how to properly deal with criminals. The town holds a parade for Barbrady, and when he is asked to give a speech, he reveals how Atlas Shrugged convinced him to never read again.
We have to find this sicko!
♪ Whoosh goes the willy wind ♪
by gunshot to the head.
The perpetrator left this clue at the crime scene.
There's coffee and brownie out front.
I, uh, I think I'll get in the bathtub
Sit down, or else it's ninja star in the forehead for you.
No motive has yet been established.
at the canine psyche.
This could be a bank robbery,
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
Mayor, What do you plan to do about the South Park riot?
in domestic disturbance calls like this one
10-4, sergeant.
"The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe."
You can take a canoe down the Amazon,
and my wife's cousin and his son,
Sit down, or else it's ninja star in the forehead for you.
looting and pillaging erupt
♪ People spout: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
No, no, that's not how you uphold the law!
South Park has plunge into total anarchy.
Well, anyway, I'm relieving you of your duties.
- With chicken after chicken being violate,
I retire!
Keep your eyes peel, boys.
but I will say that it spiral toward an incredible twist-turn
Gosh, shut up, dude.
Yeah, isn't he just suppose to be learning how to read?
- Poor people tend to live in clusters.
you've prove that you are ready for the big time.
The chicken struck again last night.
You just caught Matt and I doing what we love to do most,
Are you happy now? You push and you push
Reading suck ass.
who always plug up the toilet at our house.
I knew I had to motivate him somehow.
My whole plan worked absolutely perfectly.
You definitely have to have pretty thick skin
or else I'm gonna find a law officer to replace you forever!
and eventually will rob me of my life precious.
or possibly even a murder!
My whole plan worked absolutely perfectly.
That was a very good book report indeed.
Exactly two seconds after
Effective immediately. - Yes, that's right.
Sometimes you have to go undercover
And finally I'd like to say
Well, uh, this is quite interesting, huh, guys?
All this time Barbrady actually did keep this town peaceful.
I don't know, I'm kind of getting
- Okay, people, move along.
I'll never learn to read fast enough
It just happened so fast.
This ain't no Podunk little town.
I've just finished reading the heartwarming novel,
It says read "Teetle the Timid, ta- ta- ta..."
what would drive a man to such a disgusting act?
Sometimes you have to go undercover
It's poetic justice.
I found it a compelling and disturbing look
read "Bumbly Wumbly and the Spotted Spacecraft".
Now, Kyle, let's be supportive of our new student.
Bzzt, wrong! Try again, dumb-ass.
All this time Barbrady actually did keep this town peaceful.
Well, hopefully spending some time with you, gorgeous.
Uh, just dramatic effect, sorry.
and eventually will rob me of my life precious.
and intensive seismology
Hey, just keep your damn pants on!
but I will say that it spirals toward an incredible twist-turn
Wow, Barbrady sure is acting weird.