Name: Keeping Up with Our Joneses
Released: 2016-12-01
Cast: Mike Judge, Kathy Najimy, Pamela Adlon

1) luanne

LUANNE: Hey, Bobby! Over here!
2) dowel

so you'll have to try this with a dowel or something.
3) grout

HANK: This grout is supposed to stay white for 20 years.
4) barge

Don't you know not to barge in here when I'm in the shower?
5) nicotine

Go messing up my head with that dang old secondary nicotine like that, man.
6) carton

I made him smoke a whole carton until he was as sick as he's ever been in his life.
7) blender

I think I might have left the blender on.
8) knob

BOBBY: Quick! Pull the knob!
9) hank

HANK: This grout is supposed to stay white for 20 years.
10) goodness

For goodness sakes, Hank, you are fully clothed.
11) defect

so you'd be free of birth defect, and this is how you repay me?
12) ingredient

I thought those were the ingredient.
13) spark

JOSEPH: I found a spark plug.
14) habit

PEGGY: Bobby, smoking is a nasty, filthy habit!
15) sperm

All that dang. It's gonna give you a low sperm count, man.
16) flavor

and enjoy life for all its rich, mellow flavor.
17) sake

For goodness sake, Hank, you are fully clothed.
18) smell

Hey, doesn't the smell take you back?

1) vomit

Bobby vomit with one pack to go.
2) whine

You all whine too much, and the coffee's bad.
3) stunt

You stunt his growth, he will stay that way!
4) insult

I will not sit here and have my work insult!
5) beg

I'm beg you, put out your cigarettes, and keep them out!
6) swear

I wasn't gonna smoke it, I swear.
7) survive

This family has survive fires and twisters...
8) inform

I want you to keep an open mind, so you can make an inform decision.
9) suppose

HANK: This grout is suppose to stay white for 20 years.
10) smoke

Joseph, I understand you smoke your first cigarette today.
11) split

Let's you and me split it, Peg. It'll be romantic.
12) spread

Those last few years when it spread to his bones...
13) grow

Just 'cause you grew up in a trailer and your mama's in prison...
14) spend

I spent extra money to buy cruelty-free! I'll do a lot more than "tap" her!
15) happen

This is happen too fast. I just don't know.
16) eat

I didn't put it on. Your dog ate all my cruelty-free makeups.
17) finish

Lord. Hank, you finish this.
18) mount

"of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police."

1) sometimes

Sometimes you just gotta relax...
2) inside

Mama, it's your son. Nine months inside, remember?
3) along

You know, like the old days, before he came along!
4) fast

This is happening too fast. I just don't know.
5) together

Well, I know you think of me as a pretty together guy...
6) ago

That feels like what? A hundred years ago.
7) ever

You ever had any cigarette?
8) once

Well, I just asked you once.
9) always

Why do you always ask me that?
10) hard

And times got hard after NAFTA sent the pinata jobs north.
11) never

I never had one of those.
12) again

Honey, calm down. If she tries it again, you just give her...
13) too

Hey, all right! You guys smoke, too?
14) down

down off your high horse!
15) much

Well, I found the "tile." Thank you very much, Peggy.
16) even

Whatever you do, you should do right, even if it's something wrong.
17) long

Hey, there. Tell us your name and how long you've been smoking.
18) right

All right, Joe Camel, you wanna smoke, let's go smoke.

1) bloated

If you want, you can read a bloated government report on smoking...
2) dang

Hey, man, y'all put that dang old thing out!
3) mellow

and enjoy life for all its rich, mellow flavor.
4) disgusting

Yep, no two ways about it. Smoking is a filthy, disgusting habit.
5) addicted

Oh, no! How long have you been addicted to cigarettes?
6) harsh

LUANNE: I know y'all don't mean none of those harsh words.
7) brave

Here's to three of the brave individuals in all of Arlen!
8) upset

Are you upset?
9) keen

Pretty keen, huh?
10) caring

MAN: I see a caring human being? LEADER: No.
11) damn

PEGGY: Close the damn door! Can't you see that I am knitting?
12) romantic

Let's you and me split it, Peg. It'll be romantic.
13) weak

I understand. It's not easy to admit we're weak.
14) thick

They're no thick than a cigarette! I could smoke them little arms!
15) stupid

Will you stop talking about your stupid tile?
16) okay

Uncle Hank's clean. He's gonna be okay.
17) alive

I feel so alive with pleasure!
18) slow

You gotta inhale slow.

King of the Hill » Season 1 » Keeping Up with Our Joneses