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00:22:16
Mike Judge, Kathy Najimy, Pamela Adlon
510
"Self-exploration is a perfectly natural exercise throughout pubescence."
a roomful of snickering 5th-graders...
Ringworm test?
DALE: They found some other depraved harlot to teach that Sex Ed class.
from some bureaucrat regulatory handbook.
that puts all of that intellectual hooey above common decency.
We don't recommend using propane to fill party balloons.
What kind of filth are you reading?
[Muttering] You talk about them dang old condom dispenser with them be.
From Gym to Home Ec! I took an oath, darn it!
That woman's got a lot of gut, I'll tell you what.
HANK: Peggy? PEGGY: I'm in my office.
For goodness' sake.
For goodness' sake.
Luanne, honey, tell me, what is it like to live without shame of any kind?
to have tender feelings for a girl.
You're dealing with organ that people don't want to know about.
My daddy told me the facts of life...
PEGGY: Go all the way, honey! BOY: Yeah! Go all the way, you perv!
We don't want him growing up as repress as we did.
There. No need for Bobby to get all bother up learning about sex...
I'd tear that permission slip up, if I were you.
No, sir, I bet Peggy'll be introducing some new ideas into the bedroom.
No, sir, I bet Peggy'll be introducing some new ideas into the bedroom.
to be teach Bobby the facts of life.
Well, Bobby, your father and I decide that as your parents...
Sure, we do. I'm draw the line here, Peggy.
Your dad lost his job.
Look. We all grew up not knowing the real words for...
God, no, that's all right. I guess I'll do it.
DALE: Oh, Hank. Can I speak with Peggy?
PEGGY ON MACHINE: Hello. You have reach the Hill residence.
I seem to recall you kind of like being dipped.
But before we begin, please bring your permission slips up to my desk.
PEGGY: Boy, you should've hear Bonnie today.
I agree. If anybody should teach our boy about that...
That means I have to be prepared to go wherever they need teachers most...
How am I gonna say these words out loud in front of a class?
"Self-exploration is a perfectly natural exercise throughout pubescence."
Well, they're damn sure gonna know the 18 stages of arousal...
Besides, it is not up to the United States government...
Well, there used to be a dairy farm out here somewhere.
Well, sometimes a little intellectual hooey is a good thing.
Otherwise known as...
I seem to recall you kind of like being dipped.
Contact football? No, you're not old enough for that.
Honey, I just thought it would be nice, for later, for us to be all smooth.
Okey-dokey. Any questions so far?
I said not to think about it. Think about something else.
Dad, do you ever have sex anymore?
GRACIE: Well, he sure came to the right place.
I never even kissed a boy until I was 20. Of course, he's dead now.
Oh, Hank, is it your back again?
The army taught me everything, and in four different languages, too.
I thought we didn't have to worry about this until 9th grade health class.
a roomful of snickering 5th-graders...
DALE: They found some other depraved harlot to teach that Sex Ed class.
[Muttering] You talk about them dang old condom dispenser with them be.
I guess I am a little jealous.
I'm sure it was just some harmless nutcase.
I don't mean to be rude or nothing, but I'll pass.
That woman has got one awful love life.
Oh, Hank, I'm also a decent woman.
But I am a substitute teacher.
when he can't do a damn thing about it anyway, at his age...
Well, come on, Bobby, can't you think of something pleasant?
I'm just saying, a woman who knows is the tough customer.
Why is it not okay for girls, but it's okay for boys?
Yeah, well, you weren't too proud to pick and choose...
It's just that it's so nice and cooling. It makes your elbows smooth.
Hey, on the bright side, since there's no one to teach that Sex Ed course...
that puts all of that intellectual hooey above common decency.