Name: Great Space Roaster
Released: 2018-03-08
Cast: Seth MacFarlane

1) tranq

Every shot's a nice shot with a McGregor tranq gun.
2) groaner

Hayley coming in with a groaner. Nice.
3) flatulence

Prepare olfactory system for flatulence. Flatulence denied.
4) meatball

If you want to check out my meatball in this thing, go right ahead. I'm your dad.
5) jumpsuit

Stan, can you please just put a jumpsuit on like the rest of us?
6) amphitheater

Something good! I mean, you rented out the amphitheater for Steve's birthday.
7) grudge

- And you do have a history of holding grudge. - What? No, I don't.
8) waiter

Get the waiter's-- [ Bleeps ] out of your mouth and get up here.
9) scorpion

Nothing set in stone, although I'm pretty sure these scorpion are going in Steve's butt.
10) regimen

My running regimen is killing my lower back.
11) hardship

Due to recent financial hardship,
12) salute

♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪
13) insult

Insults in the form of jokes.
14) inmate

An inmate has escaped from the Bang Kwang prison in Thailand.
15) steroid

Steroids. Cooked-down Afrin.
16) diarrhea

And under it, it reads, "Diarrhea equals Rhea Perlman." [ Stan, Laughing ] No!
17) barb

We'll dress up nice, throw a few good-natured barb your way.
18) bastard

Come on out, you thieving bastard! Dad!

1) insult

♪ ♪ [ Stops ] You guys all got up and insult me...
2) inspire

We inspire him to better himself.
3) approve

Paste application approve.
4) laugh

Why are you laugh? That wasn't funny.
5) assault

This is the first piece of paper I haven't sexually assault in years.
6) wash

I'm-- I'm letting it wash over me.
7) escape

An inmate has escape from the Bang Kwang prison in Thailand.
8) throw

Settle down, everyone. Who threw that?
9) bet

How's it feel, Hayley? Not too bueno, I bet. Okay, now do Steve.
10) smoke

Hayley, you're not very smart, and you smoke a lot of pot.
11) rob

Oh, my God! We've been rob!
12) decide

and I decide it was time for a change.
13) describe

Well, the person you describe in graphic detail and in decent joke form...
14) forget

You know what, forget the iced tea. I'm gonna head to my gate.
15) grow

to see if Chia seeds grow up there.
16) guess

I guess you had to come out of-- or regularly visit-- Francine's clown hole...
17) equal

And under it, it reads, "Diarrhea equal Rhea Perlman." [ Stan, Laughing ] No!
18) reach

[ Phone Beeps ] [ Klaus On Recording ] Hi. You've reach the Smiths.

1) secretly

Hayley, I secretly wish you were Benjamin Button...
2) backwards

and you were aging backwards and your life was almost over.
3) incredibly

to make you say those incredibly hurtful things?
4) sexually

Warning. I'm gonna get a lot more sexually aggressive.
5) nowhere

Just so you know, there's nowhere on earth you guys can go where I can't find you.
6) damn

So you are pissed about the roast. You're damn right I am!
7) loose

Everyone should avoid wearing loose-fitting shorts around me.
8) regularly

I guess you had to come out of-- or regularly visit-- Francine's clown hole...
9) somewhere

So I'm gonna put him somewhere he can't hurt us.
10) apparently

Apparently, I'm a 13-year-old Latino kid.
11) definitely

You guys can get up now! It's definitely over!
12) truly

Roger is truly one of the most interesting people I know.
13) immediately

I'm going for a run, and I have to leave here right now, immediately.
14) instead

Instead, I went home and watched The Wire.
15) almost

Stan, hurry! We're almost on the ground!
16) outside

It's 67 degrees outside, and I hate you.
17) along

That's been my real goal all along.
18) enough

♪ Is enough enough? ♪

1) undeserved

Stan, you have the undeserved ego of Jeremy Piven,
2) unbearable

and the unbearable hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh.
3) disgusting

Roger, you're the most disgusting,
4) sober

And I'm also three days' sober.
5) pathetic

He's also a pathetic drug addict.
6) celebrated

But seriously, I want to do what the greats do when they get celebrated.
7) dumb

I don't tell "Yo mama's so dumb" jokes.
8) brutal

- The best roasts are brutal and hilarious. - Oh, I think it'll be fun.
9) pediatric

You have the sex appeal of the cancer ward in a pediatric hospital.
10) aggressive

Warning. I'm gonna get a lot more sexually aggressive.
11) latino

Apparently, I'm a 13-year-old Latino kid.
12) decent

Well, the person you described in graphic detail and in decent joke form...
13) steady

Steady. Well done.
14) monetary

which should address the monetary problems Hayley pointed out.
15) loud

Stan, thank you for that very loud wake-up call.
16) therapeutic

It's-- It's so therapeutic to laugh.
17) fake

Euphoria, the fake drug from 90210.
18) drunk

because Roger got drunk and raped them.

American Dad! » Season 5 » Great Space Roaster