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00:22:30
Seth MacFarlan, Alex Borstein, Seth Green
81
- Shut up, you egotistical jerk. - You shut up, you sack-bellied strumpet!
"And a pocketful of miracles, pocketful of miracles
- " Who's got the fella with pizzazz? - " You do
Stow the 'tude, queenie. You and I have a problem. Read it and weep.
Stow the 'tude, queenie. You and I have a problem. Read it and weep.
People, stop this craziness!
Peter, my audition's coming up. Would you listen to my monologue?
"Who's got a girl he'd like to one day undress?
- " Who's got the fella with pizzazz? - " You do
Now you're being born. Ready? And burst through the placenta!
- Blimp-headed jackass! - Mealy-mouthed crotch pheasant!
- Blimp-headed jackass! - Mealy-mouthed crotch pheasant!
It's where I keep my peppermint Mentos.
- " Who's got a girl who loves chow mein? - " You do
A duet? Really? Let's see it.
Pull it back. The lady touched the bun and she's not wearing gloves.
Peter, can I borrow your lawn mower? Agh... You got a towel?
Meg, did any of the neighbour see Jeff come over?
Completely. We totally ream her. Did you see that look in her eyes? She hates you.
- I thought I was a dead man. - You gotta be starving. Eat these.
"This Thursday, audition for the Quahog School of Performing Arts. "
At first I wanted you to fail. But then I realise you'd be out five days a week,
I don't need this act and I don't need you. You've done nothing but hold me back. I quit!
- Shut up, you egotistical jerk. - You shut up, you sack-bellied strumpet!
Jeff! What are you doing here? I'm not suppose to see you.
Yep. He was so grateful, he invite us all over for dinner tonight.
I'm doing a three-episode guest shot on The Gilmore Girls.
That's for me ever having doubt you. A-plus!
That's not why I'm push Olivia. Is it suspicious that I said that?
Get boot out and wind up like Linda Evans.
Thank you. I was boogie-boarding and I got suck out by the riptide.
- Peter, did you know this? - I thought he lost his bathing suit.
you're gonna act out your entire life from birth to death as I describe it.
Well, I guess it might be OK.
Now you're being born. Ready? And burst through the placenta!
It's a great idea. I've always dream of becoming an actress.
- Break a leg up there, Brian. - You seem awfully enthusiastic.
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us
I'd better go. So, um... would you wanna do something sometime?
- Great show. - You did me perfectly.
But you alleged experts obviously didn't notice.
And it comes through absolutely.
- Yes, well... Beg pardon? - The F sharp, darling. You were slightly off.
Now fast-forward. It's your first day of school. You're alone and scared.
Lead with strength, put your best foot forward, et cetera, et cetera.
Yes. Yes, I'm quite capable of that.
Well, actually, I can't. I'm on my way to Hollywood.
There it is, kids. Your first marquee. Meet you inside.
Not now. Later.
Further. Further!
Now fast-forward. It's your first day of school. You're alone and scared.
But that's the good news. We're back together. She's here.
- Why else would your name be first? - It's obvious.
- Cool. - Is this the biggest thing you've ever seen?
I'm not doing a scene with him. He's inexperienced.
Splendid! This calls for a sexy party.
That's not why I'm pushing Olivia. Is it suspicious that I said that?
- Break a leg up there, Brian. - You seem awfully enthusiastic.
Peter, was it unfair of us to tell Meg she couldn't see that boy?
Just because your breath reeks of rotten Lunchables doesn't mean mine has to.
That was awful. With practice I could act circles around that guy.
Yep. He was so grateful, he invited us all over for dinner tonight.
Legitimate theatre, musical, stand-up, ventriloquism, magic, mime.
Well, I did notice. I saw a man bare his soul up here.
See here! Brian Griffin is a brilliant actor with talent and passion.
The quarterly review's tomorrow. Think your kids will pass?
You are the weak link. Goodbye.
OK, Stewie, I'll give you a solo exercise.
- Why else would your name be first? - It's obvious.
That's for you wearing purple pants with blue socks. Eww!
I must be an absolute mess. The studio made me fire my make-up girl.
Yes. Yes, I'm quite capable of that.