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00:21:23
Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders
1877
It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton, like a roach.
you kind of put that in your datebook. So.
Mouse? Sweetie, that wasn't a mouse. That was a huge cockroach.
It's for the bourbon.
Come on, Ellen. I mean, a pint of ice cream. Isn't that a bit cliché?
Sarah O'Brien loves brunch. She wants to have two children.
and knew it, I'd want that person to come down to my dermatology office
Right, I have a kind of mole on my back.
Jerks who just wanna meet vulnerable women,
Its diet is not unlike our own. Grains, cereal,
showing your photo to random pedestrian. No takers.
Did you just use my name as a verb?
A beacon of hope for New York City's lovelorn.
All finished, gentlemen?
when the tear come.
for you to proposition an engaged woman you don't even know?
Brace yourself, dude. This is gonna blow your mind-hole.
No, it wasn't a cockroach. It had fur. And only mammals have fur.
but you've exaggerate it in your mind, you know, like the Loch Ness monster.
Obviously, the whole thing is shroud in mystery.
Ellen, your company "Love Solutions" boast a 100% success rate,
My friend, you just poke the bear.
You bastard. I actually got excited about this.
What's the hard way? Security roughs me up and toss me out?
You deserve more. I'm so done with the single life. All the games.
beautiful, charming, intelligent, engage.
What's the hard way? Security rough me up and tosses me out?
I know. There's suppose to be. I don't know where they are.
I'm a failure. I'm all wash up. I tried everything, Ted.
I promise we will find you somebody. Don't lose hope.
- 8.5. - So he suck!
you just have to accept that certain things can't be explain,
If by "like the Loch Ness monster" you mean "totally exist and is awesome,"
I grew to admire your tenacious...
What happen?
Shouldn't we just beat it to death with a bat?
Only the craziest, meanest-Iooking mouse you've ever seen.
- and it's awfully fond of cheese. - Okay. This is getting weird.
and presto manifesto, you have a soul mate and it works!
Well, I believe that you saw something perfectly normal,
Okay. But it's not likely. I look damn good in my dress.
Obviously, the whole thing is shrouded in mystery.
Hey, this may sound weird. But it'll definitely sound more weird
Ted, there are absolutely no women out there for you.
No, 8.5 is an extremely good match-up quotient.
I'm exactly the same.
Raise your hand if earlier today you hit on an engaged woman?
No, I won't. You're gonna die alone.
OLDER TED: You see, sometimes in life
Do you honestly believe deep down that there is no one else out there for you
Actually, I got through that okay.
and that's kind of scary.
- All right, see you later. Happy hunting. - Wait, where are you guys going?
Anything else?
Look, don't you think you're being a little impulsive marrying a guy
- It's uncanny. - All right.
Ted up, to overthink something with disastrous results.
You have a basal cell carcinoma.
Okay, we get it. You're skeptical. But Marshall and I, we're believers.
It's probably nothing. But I'm a cautious guy.
- and it's awfully fond of cheese. - Okay. This is getting weird.
Don't make it sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse!
It's some sort of mutant combination of the two.
beautiful, charming, intelligent, engaged.
Jerks who just wanna meet vulnerable women,
Aren't you even a little curious? The woman who set you up
Wow. That's a pretty sophisticated trap.
- What? - Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot.
You bastard. I actually got excited about this.
No! What the hell was that? You trying to get it drunk?
Come on. Ted, this is an incredible opportunity.
- and it's awfully fond of cheese. - Okay. This is getting weird.