Name: Bar Mitzvah Hustle
Released: 2018-03-07
Cast: Seth MacFarlane

1) busboy

to share a doobie with the busboy in exchange for an angry "Handy J."
2) calzone

Uh, there was supposed to be a calzone with this.
3) catchphrase

unlike that catchphrase I tried to start: "Nuh-uh to your uh-huh."
4) skinhead

But you're skinhead. You hate Jews. What? No.
5) swastika

It's the only one that doesn't have a swastika or a boner carved in it.
6) accuser

The accuser will state his case.
7) boner

It's the only one that doesn't have a swastika or a boner carved in it.
8) snot

But don't worry. Snot will have a role to play before this is over.
9) vibrate

Because it's still on vibrate from the movies last night.
10) ruse

The presents were just a clever ruse. He was after the money the whole time.
11) heist

and watched every heist movie from The Apple Dumpling Gang to Ocean's Twelve.
12) atonement

You missed some off-the-hizzi atonement. You were busy?
13) rebuttal

Does the defense have a rebuttal?
14) foreskin

We'll get your foreskin cut off all right. What?
15) shalom

And, Debbie, a super shalom to you.
16) fart

It has a two-gig fart library that analyzes your laughter...
17) mitzvah

Hey, Snot. You know Etan, my bar mitzvah study buddy.
18) expulsion

I demand his expulsion from this temple...

1) overhear

I overhear a boy saying he was gonna steal your gifts.
2) carve

It's the only one that doesn't have a swastika or a boner carve in it.
3) fart

How great is this thing? It throws fart up to a hundred yards.
4) gasp

Yeah, I may have gasp too soon. I know I gasp too soon.
5) devise

and devise the perfect plan to rob Etan Cohen's bar mitzvah.
6) invent

where he invent a kosher lubricant that tastes like whitefish salad but--
7) flee

When the Nazis annexed Alsace-Lorraine in 1940, Ernest fled to Mykonos,
8) assemble

For God's sakes, I'm assembling my own crew.
9) abandon

We ended up at an abandon warehouse where some thugs took my wallet,
10) pose

Now, Roger, you'll be posing as a waiter.
11) doom

You'll never be bar mitzvahed-- doom to walk the earth for the rest of your days...
12) steal

Your old boyfriend stole my bar mitzvah money. What?
13) deserve

the beit din has to be convinced he deserve another chance.
14) refuse

All because you refuse to do the heist my way.
15) annex

When the Nazis annex Alsace-Lorraine in 1940, Ernest fled to Mykonos,
16) laugh

Francine, you know I only laugh at Two and a Half Men. [ Laughs ]
17) suppose

Uh, there was suppose to be a calzone with this.
18) shoot

And who shot Gianni Versace? Was it a Jew? I don't know. It was in Miami.

1) emotionally

and written sentiments that have no monetary worth but are emotionally valuable.
2) sometime

Oh, that's for me. But... let's hang out sometime.
3) hereby

Snot, you are hereby banished from this temple...
4) unfortunately

Unfortunately, I wouldn't know how to begin to get ahold of them.
5) possibly

If I was gonna steal my gifts, how could I possibly do it?
6) indeed

If that is the case, young man, then Snot may indeed have his bar mitzvah ceremony.
7) perhaps

Perhaps you'll enjoy-- [ Short Fart ]
8) almost

That's right. I'm almost at the bottom, so I gotta get off, okay? I gotta keep goin'.
9) actually

Actually, I've sort of moved away from traditional religion.
10) soon

Yeah, I may have gasped too soon. I know I gasped too soon.
11) later

But I'll catch you later, nerds. [ Laughs ]
12) sort

Actually, I've sort of moved away from traditional religion.
13) far

I just get paid the most by far, but you all make it work.
14) together

My plan is actually working. I think she might want to get back together.
15) ever

And I'll sneak the money off Snot before he ever knows.
16) once

And once Debbie sees him freak out over losin' his precious gifts,
17) never

Damn it! I'll never find my phone.
18) too

I kno-- Okay, I love you too. I have to go. Bye, Bubbe Judy.

1) unforgivable

What Snot did was unforgivable, but Etan's behavior proved he's not a man at all.
2) supe

And, Debbie, a supe shalom to you.
3) unethical

Jewish history is a history of unethical conduct.
4) formidable

devising a formidable code of ethics.
5) doomed

I'm doomed! [ Sobs Loudly ]
6) needless

or should I say, "Needless Markup." [ Laughs ]
7) shocked

Just so you're not shocked when you open it,
8) blunt

I'll be blunt. I'm comin' on to you, Deborah. It's true. This is what's happening.
9) fascinating

Yours really is a rich and fascinating tradition which we despise.
10) monetary

and written sentiments that have no monetary worth but are emotionally valuable.
11) fancy

Wow. He's rented out the fanciest ballroom in town.
12) precious

Etan took what was precious to me, so now I'm gonna take what's precious to him.
13) surprised

[ Gasps ] I'm not surprised.
14) noble

Your Honors, our noble tribe has spent millennia...
15) sad

A man doesn't get sad, Steve. A man gets-- Even!
16) flexible

and the world's most flexible contortionist.
17) spiritual

I didn't know you were so spiritual, Etan.
18) jewish

Oh. So then might I suggest you check out the Jewish mystical tradition of Kabbalah?

American Dad! » Season 4 » Bar Mitzvah Hustle