Name: Live and Let Dine
Released: 2016-11-17
Cast: H. Jon Benjamin, Judy Greer, Amber Nash

1) casteau

CASTEAU: Answer the goddamn phone, woman!
2) dolma

Thank you, chef. The dolma, the rakia.
3) aperitif

I'll be out front favoring the guest of honor with aperitif and my presence.
4) recompense

A ﬂagrant violation of my sworn duty, for which my recompense will be?
5) maggot

...are you maggot not prepping? I-- Wait, are you doing a bumper?
6) geopolitics

How about geopolitics? Uh...
7) whoop

ARCHER: Whoops. That's probably why I seem annoyed.
8) urinal

Which Kennedy? Because if it's Teddy, he still owes me for a urinal so...
9) isolator

...you want me to use this top-secret 934-TX telephonic isolator unit...
10) gratuity

Besides not knowing if I should add an 18-percent gratuity?
11) auberge

Oh, then where does auberge fit in?
12) entree

Nobody will know, it's Albanian glop. The entree is a fricking sheep face.
13) ingress

...we've got ingress points here and here and...
14) niece

And also little Vernie Kennedy, JFK's crazy niece or cousin or something.
15) murderer

ARCHER: Yeah. "Child murderer" shouldn't be hyphenated.
16) melon

I'm not cutting out their eyeballs. Not with that. Use a melon baller.
17) diplomat

Oh. I'm doing a special seating for diplomat
18) sous

Excuse me, I need to make sure my sous chef hasn't ruined it.

1) televise

This is gonna be televise? WOMAN: Yeah, the show's called Bastard Chef.
2) antagonize

Was that ambiguous? Why are you antagonizing him?
3) splatter

Uh, the food's splatter all over the wall and ﬂoor...
4) scrape

...then every bit of meat scrape off those cheeks.
5) invent

The-- Whatever idiot invent those slippery-ass bowls.
6) admire

Oh, my God, you admire that dick. He's a master chef, Lana...
7) owe

Which Kennedy? Because if it's Teddy, he still owe me for a urinal so...
8) sweep

Well, I've swept the entire place for explosives...
9) shout

Hi, yeah, are you done shout at my guests in barely-passable French?
10) poison

But if it wasn't the food-- How the hell did he get poison?
11) shut

...whereas I am sous chef, which means shut your face and mop up the damn yogurt.
12) suppose

Is that suppose to be funny? Yes.
13) kick

Kicked out in the first act.
14) burn

Hey, is something burn? Oh, wait, it's you, because you just got burn.
15) murder

Also, that I'd get raped and murder.
16) promise

You promise you'd stop doing that. They were in my tuxedo from last time.
17) smoke

Uh, should you be smoking in here?
18) guard

...closely guard by people I deem acceptable.

1) ambiguously

Wait, a dog ate a tourist? What? That was ambiguously worded.
2) exquisitely

Except in the form of an exquisitely-prepared entrée.
3) incredibly

Yeah, sorry, we were dealing with this incredibly obnoxious hoax, so--
4) barely

Hi, yeah, are you done shouting at my guests in barely-passable French?
5) strictly

...ritzy joints like Seize have reservation numbers that are strictly on the QT.
6) perfectly

Tonight has to go perfectly because it is wall to wall VIP's out there.
7) basically

Soto drive people away, basically. Those people.
8) somewhere

...you're gonna find me in a dumpster somewhere out in Red Hook.
9) apparently

Um, apparently. Ugh! This is so unfair.
10) absolutely

CYRIL: Absolutely not.
11) properly

WOMAN: Two-point-eight. Because it's not promoted properly.
12) nearly

...which turns out is not nearly as gay a job as I thought it was.
13) exactly

LANA: Wait, so what did Malory say exactly?
14) alone

And yet I will die alone.
15) finally

...and when I finally do, instead of Casteau's world-famous risotto...
16) instead

Instead of savoring this espresso, this cigarette...
17) actually

Fake names, duh. Follow-up question: Do you know how TV actually works?
18) kind

Cyril, come on, it's my nature. See? Uh, yeah, kind of.

1) telephonic

...you want me to use this top-secret 934-TX telephonic isolator unit...
2) apologetic

Yeah, so try to sound apologetic, but not, you know, overly so.
3) inexplicable

...and for some inexplicable reason, they have to do that undercover, so...
4) bionic

For that much money, we could have built a whole new bionic man.
5) spotless

Why is there yogurt fricking soup all over my spotless fricking kitchen?
6) distracting

And you, time to lean, time to get your distracting tits off my line.
7) obnoxious

Yeah, sorry, we were dealing with this incredibly obnoxious hoax, so--
8) incompetent

If Chet gets his incompetent thumb out of his equally incompetent ass!
9) prosperous

And to a long, peaceful and prosperous friendship...
10) sous

...whereas I am sous chef, which means shut your face and mop up the damn yogurt.
11) annoyed

MAN: Why do I seem annoyed? Let's see.
12) undercover

...talking to a TV crew when we're undercover?
13) ambiguous

Was that ambiguous? Why are you antagonizing him?
14) sworn

A ﬂagrant violation of my sworn duty, for which my recompense will be?
15) vague

...there's been some vague security threat...
16) credible

L-- She said "credible threat." I know, but what kind of credible--
17) albanian

Nobody will know, it's Albanian glop. The entree is a fricking sheep face.
18) sour

And then Teddy walks into the library wearing nothing but a whiskey sour.

Archer » Season 4 » Live and Let Dine