Name: Stage Two
Released: 2016-11-29
Cast: H. Jon Benjamin, Judy Greer, Amber Nash

1) jillion

...I was a dick to you like a jillion times?
2) positivity

Not that, dick. Your whole outlook. All this positivity and whatever.
3) spelt

SPELTS: That's, um...
4) bimbo

Some what? Balloon-breasted bimbo? Hey.
5) booze

What? He can't have booze, he's going to jail.
6) cafeteria

Yeah, where were you? The cafeteria.
7) tout

Why are you dressed like a tout?
8) alcoholism

Such as... Any history of alcoholism?
9) scotch

I got some mid-range Scotch for you, you nut.
10) cracker

Except for the barn. That's just graham cracker and icing.
11) archer

ARCHER: Looking for this?
12) meantime

...but in the meantime, is your mother there?
13) chemotherapy

...there's chemotherapy, there's... Oh!
14) diabetic

It's probably not the best birthday present for a diabetic, but...
15) dolphin

Well, **** your dolphin, Pam. Archer, she's down.
16) idiot

Idiots. Surrounded by nothing but... What the hell is your problem?
17) goat

Good God. You'd think he was half fainting goat.
18) vagina

Sure it's not lady vagina cancer?

1) extradite

Oh, hey, where's Cyril? CYRIL: Extradited?
2) devastate

...he'd be devastate, so this information cannot leave this...
3) diagnose

Although he has been a lot nicer ever since he was diagnose.
4) swear

I'm not, I swear. This is about... Breast cancer? Oh, you poor thing.
5) crush

But I could tell your mom was already crush about the rain-check thing...
6) grab

We grab a bear claw. Rowr.
7) cure

...and Sterling is going to be completely cure.
8) hang

Yeah, hang on, he's right...
9) shut

Well, then, for the 50th time, shut up and go back to the office.
10) slip

How about I slip somebody 100 bucks to throw acid in your face?
11) flood

It's just like when the farm flood in real life.
12) bet

Costs more than that, I bet. You...
13) treat

What did I expect? Jesus, look at how I've treat all of you.
14) spread

If they can't get it or if it spread to my lymph nodes, they'll do chemo...
15) forget

Oh, sorry, I forgot you might have...
16) spend

I spent last night in the Tombs getting worked over by the cops.
17) dress

Why are you dress like a tout?
18) beat

He certainly doesn't have cancer in his fist. He is beat his ass.

1) someday

...of someday going to Las Vegas together.
2) positively

And I can say positively you are...
3) mentally

Both mentally and spiritually, Brett.
4) barely

God, what a trip. Barely got back in time for surgery. You should've been there.
5) literally

If I don't get something to eat, I'm literally going to die.
6) basically

Woodhouse, salt of the earth, who basically raised me.
7) obviously

...but it's not, you know, obviously, not as good as no cancer.
8) definitely

God, I should definitely get checked. I am so bad about doing the self-exam.
9) carefully

Carefully put them in order.
10) forever

This is so boring and forever-taking.
11) normally

I know. I'm not normally a tattoo guy, but...
12) extremely

...although it's extremely rare. Yeah, and also hereditary.
13) certainly

He certainly doesn't have cancer in his fist. He is beating his ass.
14) alone

...so I really don't think I should be alone tonight.
15) perhaps

Or perhaps the lead container I probably should've left it in?
16) finally

It took all weekend, but I finally got that payroll glitch sorted out.
17) especially

Especially Sterling. If he found out I might have breast cancer...
18) late

He was four hours late to his own surgery. Yeah. Kind of a late night.

1) macrobiotic

And to that end, Woodhouse, macrobiotic food.
2) freaking

Right? You can't tattoo a freaking baby.
3) gigantic

...so that all anyone can see for miles around are your gigantic breasts.
4) wee

...spend some time with the wee baby Seamus.
5) delicate

PAM: Careful, it's pretty delicate. Wow, and this is all marzipan?
6) brazilian

Don't apologize to me, apologize to the Brazilian rosewood.
7) drunk

Well, and scared. Well, more drunk.
8) diagnostic

I'll know for sure after I get the results of her diagnostic exam...
9) damn

But the thing is... Woodhouse, answer the damn phone.
10) weird

So it's weird.
11) careful

PAM: Careful, it's pretty delicate. Wow, and this is all marzipan?
12) unusual

Any unusual exposure to radiation?
13) quarterly

Pam, those quarterly reports better be on my desk when I walk in there.
14) hybrid

I'll let you know if I need a hybrid pigboy.
15) stupid

I hope your stupid cancer kills you. Oh, yeah? Well, I hope...
16) okay

Pam. I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm good.
17) mutual

...but I've got a good feeling about her. And the feeling is mutual, doctor.
18) dear

Malory. I'm sorry, dear.

Archer » Season 2 » Stage Two