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00:21:19
Sofía Vergara, Ed O'Neill, Julie Bowen
173
- Flammable confetti? - There was a seltzer bottle right there!
Yeah, let's get the weirdness over with.
by berating that perfectly sweet journeyman princess like I did.
- Well, you know, we didn't want to break curfew. Curfew?
Sir Fizbolot, royal court jester, at your service.
- Cue gasp.
Uh, but between you and me, I'm getting some serious vibes from the princess over here...
You know, your little intimidation game may have worked on me when I was a kid...
Sweetie, you're hurting me. And take a shower tonight. Your hair smells like cheese.
- You didn't say "beep." - If I say beep, then the people will think it's the beep.
I have to practice for my cello recital.
Hi, Mommy. My tummy's growling.
Come on, she's practically walking you two down the aisle.
Yeah, I was pushing for a cashmere throw.
Do you want me to hold it and stand in the driveway?
I have to practice for my cello recital.
We were stalled. I didn't have the gut to end it.
but I had a crush on your mother back in high school.
You got flatter by the attention of a younger guy and you got a little carried away.
She accuse me of trying to steal my old boyfriend from her.
We were stall. I didn't have the guts to end it.
- I'm scream at a princess party, Mom! - Claire.
How could you do that? How dare you?
Ew, ew! Dad, gross. Your hand smell like cheese.
Honey, we had you tested, like, six times. Trust me, I was pray for dyslexia.
- I would've played it totally different. - I think you nail it.
- What's that suppose to mean? - No Fizbo.
- I invite him to dinner. - What?
And, as I recall, the two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other.
so she tried her first Xanax, wash it down with a shot of tequila.
It's... I divorce you because I was looking for something else.
Why aren't they clapping when I'm pull the handkerchief out of my mouth?"
We had a long talk last night after you and I "split" that bottle of wine...
Although I doubt he stopped there.
When I was a clown, my shoe caught on fire...
Yeah, I was push for a cashmere throw.
I have a learning disability. The letters jump around on the page and appear backwards.
Come on, she's practically walking you two down the aisle.
by berating that perfectly sweet journeyman princess like I did.
Apparently, she always wished you'd married Robbie.
Whoa, whoa. Slow down. You're up to weddings already?
Well, yeah, and I certainly didn't help...
and see how far you can push them, until finally, look at me, you win! You win!
she should just squeeze my hand instead.
Luke, if your mom starts to lose it, I need you to lighten the mood by being extra cute.
Therefore, I need you guys to be on your best behavior.
and I've got a super sweet job driving that limo outside.
Enough with the cashmere. Why is it a terrible idea?
and see how far you can push them, until finally, look at me, you win! You win!
And we're never good together.
It's... I divorced you because I was looking for something else.
Oh, my God! Why can't you ever let me have any f...
- It sure used to. - Oh.
"Once upon a time, there lived a family of bears.
and I've got a supe sweet job driving that limo outside.
and one of my fellow clowns put me out with a bucket of flammable confetti.
"Hey, Mom, I'm 'firsty'." Huh? Adorable, right?
didn't come back to the house until after I was asleep.
Oh, my God. Are you insane?
It's so unfair! You told me I could go!
Well, maybe a Fuzzy Navel wine cooler will loosen you up.
No. I don't want you to get upset about this, but I'm not going to the party.
I'm feeling very nervous. It's better that I stay here.
That's because you're a decent man.
This is such a precious gift.
Didn't I tell you she'd be excited? Huh?
I just had a damn line. Manny, freshen this up for me.
This was incredible. Thanks a lot.
Really? And a grown man pulling boxer shorts out of his mouth doesn't?
Hey, Luke, who's tall, me or your dad?
- So you're okay with this? - Well, I wouldn't say I'm okay with it, but I get it.
Ew, ew! Dad, gross. Your hand smells like cheese.