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00:21:39
Sofía Vergara, Ed O'Neill, Julie Bowen
207
Really? What's the difference between a gamete and a zygote?
We should also mention how she always perk up when we watch Charlie Rose.
With a chisel and a piece of stone.
Lily doesn't have the dexterity for that, Claire. What is happening?
Is that the rat shovel?
Disabled interracial lesbians with an African kicker?
about that obnoxious parrot of yours that's always squawking.
There's a parasailing donkey video on YouTube.
Everybody, gadget down. Now!
Which, in hindsight, was utter nonsense.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Don't most kids drink soda? - Who knows what they do?
Whoever stays unplugged the longest wins.
- In a wheelchair. Oh.
Claire, all my friends are in that league. I'm gonna look like an idiot.
Hey, it's me. What's a good preschool?
Because in Colombia, we trip over goat and we kill people in the street.
Raisin' barns, witnessin' murders, makin' electric fireplace hearths.
Whoever stays unplug the longest wins.
Brady's injure. No!
I carve it out of a bar of soap and colored it in with a marker.
and you accuse us of taking your dog!
Boobs Lori or adult brace Lori?
I'm beg you to please just say "ducks."
Even though we had sworn off the Internet, the rest of the world hadn't.
What? First you smash it.
Busted!
And it remind me of where I went in Missouri.
- I'll tell... - How dare you?
Nobody gets a car, I dump Tom Brady...
Screw the duckies. We belong here.
I quit. I'm not made of stone, you know.
His name is Shut Up Your Damn Dog!
Families are suppose to talk.
that though I lay with fire-haired man...
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
We haven't formally met. I'm Gloria Pritchett from next door.
- Really? - Yeah. Apparently, we are in very high demand.
set her apart from the rest of the kids.
- Wait a minute. She's alone. - So?
They're choosing teams for gym class, and we're finally getting picked first.
We have got to get her into school, or else she's gonna fall behind.
Instead of wasting my lunch hour surfing the Web, checking football stats...
but I have almost no faith in you.
I can't believe that he's actually already on the Internet.
- She's kind of scary. - We're not buying her a car.
that none of the kids Lily usually plays with were there.
We have got to get her into school, or else she's gonna fall behind.
- She moved out three weeks ago. - Is she coming back for it?
- Nobody can ever take that away from you. - So true.
- Thank you, Haley. - At least we talk.
and I have never once said a word...
about that obnoxious parrot of yours that's always squawking.
and I have never once said a word...
about that obnoxious parrot of yours that's always squawking.
- We're outraged. - Bad parenting.
Hmm. Gay adoptive parents with a minority baby?
I put on some mellow music and I meditated.
You know what's ironic? You come over here complaining...
- We're queer. We're here. - Yes, we are.
Those skinny bitches.
"Mom's insane."
This is so unfair!
- Oh, God. This is a nightmare. - Mitch, it's preschool. Don't overthink it.
But let's not get too dramatic. You wrote an e-mail.
Do you know how offensive that is?
It was a fake-out to make sure that their kids got a spot.
You're diverse times three... in demand.
Die, stupid! Die!
Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
This is my fifth one of these today.
Who are you really mad at, Larry... the dog or your wife?